Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

8/9/15 -20/12/15

M.B.A: Dear Dad, I love you

When I look at my father, I see so much love, so much support, I see his pain, I see how misunderstood, I see what they don’t see, which is all the good, my father is someone who’ll do anything to make sure Im always okay, that I haven’t unconscionably left this earth this house, under this roof, he is one of the only people I trust most in this world without thinking twice, I hold him higher and dearer than any being who walks in and out of this hole in my heart, he bears so much and they even don’t know, they don’t want to understand that it is not his fault, this pain that he carries concealed by acceptance, my father is not to blame, his the most kindest sweetest man you’ll ever find, he’ll tell me that I should stand up for myself, never be walked upon, don’t let them ever get away, if you feel something is wrong just say it, regardless wrong or right, just say it, have confidence in yourself, I believe in you, don’t worry its all going to work out, don’t doubt your self even if you don’t get this job, its okay, its not a big deal, as long as you’re well and healthy nothing else matters more, they will never understand what his words mean to me, he was always the one who taught me to be this strong, to be this brave, to use my narrative as though they were shields built upon his words, made for me to be the sometimes confident person this shield I hold up in order to protect what’s kin, he fought for me, so I will always fight for him, love him harder than any man ever dare to love me back, they will never understand, the person I trust most, even when you called me liar, when my melody wasn’t ready to brake into song loud enough for the heavens to hear, he was there standing in front of me, defending, always on my side, hero, the reason, I am the way I am today, because I have one who’ll rather have me bear pain, and one who’ll be the first to raise his voice about it, this isn’t the first time, and I know will never be the last, so dad, I want to let you know that when ever I think of my childhood growing up felt like enclosed, suffocating, no key to locked door, as though I had swallowed something unpleasant, the way it assaulted my mouth, the taste it left on my pallet, every time I spoke, you made me feel safe, you made me feel loved, things I feared I would never feel so strong came from you, they made me understand you more, made me able to speak up when I feel I’m being wronged, I’m still learning that my confidence is something I can teach myself and that it is not something you are born into but something your taught, I’ve never told you this, but you are the best a daughter could ever hope for, I hope you know that, I don’t care what anyone else has to say, or what story they spit in order to soil your name, you are the one I trust, so you are the one that I will always choose to believe, love your kin

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