Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

I feel sick everywhere…

“..I usually sit with it, wait for the body to re group itself into a somewhat functioning grab my feelings n leave manner, its hard to describe this feeling when its this raw, it feels a lot like the worst possible series of emotions as you drive shards of glasses into the body to help mute the pain, to help silence the unwanted, the confusing, the anger, the compassionate, the sympathetic, the critic, the failure, the unknown, its so easy to eject into this mess, but even harder to eject yourself out of its tight arms, you’ll watch her eyes turn this glaring red as she cries for the unexplained anxiety, her depression is something she can not come to terms with n still refuses to use its correct name, sometimes I am forced to explain to her that its okay that you’re surviving this illness each day, its okay that loyalties s comes n goes, I will always be there to help you guide yourself back to this kin, take my hand n never let go, we are in this together, we have always been in this together, you’re allowed to cry n do nothing, you’re allowed to cry n not know why, to cry n cry some more we all want you to heal, we are all always here with you, for you, you’re never alone I want you to please remember that, we have always been in this together, I know you feel betrayed when you can’t be while you experience opportunities, that you’re forced to feel what you don’t resonate on the outside but what the body wants you to feel, sorry that you have to force your happy, n flaunt this feeling until you feel they don’t feel uncomfortable until they don’t know, seduce their eyes until they stop guessing, trauma has a excruciating way of choosing to visit this body, will give you all its bagged emotion, unreasonable without you opening the door for them they will come uninvited n because you’re not the kind to confront its despair you will allow it to stay n do its damage sometimes longer than it needs then excuse yourself out of its company as you ran out the back door n promise that you’re never coming back, you’ll cry n cry once you realize that you ran away from trauma yet again just when healing has come through your doors to rescue you from trauma’s resilience but by then….”


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