Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

13.5.17 |16.5.17
You can’t..(heart beats, you’re strong enough)

You have to be both brave and strong enough to know when to walk away, kin tells me as I spill how I’ve met this unsteady heart beat again, she leaves marks of my thoughts and says what the body has already pleaded at me for, don’t see that the heart is covering up his mistakes so easily, so carelessly, so quick to catch his words, so soft-, I once had a friend tell me be careful, you fall too hard, and I told her I already know that about myself, told her I am always forced to watch them leave after they have told me their truth, after I have told them I promise to be honest with the way I love-, watching their heart leave and mine brake into fragments of their words is the most painful heart brake, you haven’t even told them everything and you are forced to watch them leave so vividly, this time you warned them, you were as honest didn’t tell them about what this heart was feeling, too much, made sure to keep yourself safe from their truth knowing very well the heart sneaked doses of its truth out of this mouth however only the amount this body unconsciously allowed, you’re safe, you’ve only seen him once, you only remember two things clearly about his truth and they coexist of the way he spoke and the way he kissed you, wanting to know and feel at the same time your body was ready to meet a second round, weeks went by and you were starting to forget what truth looked like, forgetting that we must choose ourselves, a few phone calls lost words broken truths, words that are shaken not familiar, you’re left to love yourself first, that night no calls, no explanation as to why, you fall asleep waiting for his words, five missed phone calls after the heart ache no explanation in the form or words to soften the mind, ease the heart and you’re not ready to be excused, pushed to the side, be honey coated you have known these kinds of boys too often, today is the day you’re forced to be strong enough to walk away from what will hurt you when and if you choose to stay, said this body (to this heart).

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