Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

31.5.17 | 31.5.17
I want all of you (heart beats, unseen+seen..)

“I want all of you, the parts that make it feel like we are in a different world, escape this earth just for a moment, you tell me that communication is not as clear, so I tell you it has always been you, told you that I feel more when I am by your side, when you are not there to witness this heart beat and this body has longed for comfort in your words and hands since the day I met you, you tell me you like me back but I, wonder how strong is the feeling of such a replaceable word, you talk about two different realities as though they exist only through you and they do, you tell me I can come with you if I allow the walls I have built to crumble at our feet-, the most sexiest thing you have ever told me is, I want to get to know both you and your mind, before he could allow self to fully commit, it was at that moment I was sure you were the only person I could give everything without having to fear of letting go so easily, it has always been you, I have always wanted and waited for all of you, look what you’ve done..”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

24.4.17
Heart beats + tell me (what happens when you fall too fast..)

“..its hard, to forget once you’ve indulged this deep into their body, watched how they speak, n felt your heart ache for their heart beat some more, promised yourself that you wouldn’t let this feeling take over, that you wouldn’t fall too soon, quickly forgetting that we do not have control over our hearts, this feeling, choosing to silence it before it gives him meaning, before he becomes memory, once again, they all become past tense, always a painful memory, this is what usually happens when you feel too much, you haven’t told them that they can but, will never tell them they can always have this heart, you’ll hide compliments in the name of humorous seductive flirtation n speak when most charitable, how do you fall so fast, this is not about trust, this is about feeling, this is what happens when you want to know n feel at the same time, have you ever felt that way, that their heart beat incidental along pure curiosity, that this is not temporary, that they are anything but misplaced in the location of your heart, apologized for not being able to speak in their presence too passionately at times, n they, responded with kind words n warm hands, when you feel so full near heart beats it becomes hard to proclaim, that you question each word that escapes this mouth, unsure about your character, your heart beat, what happens when you fall too fast, its too early, you can’t tell now but, he doesn’t notice I have already warned n accepted before he could even understand, is it too much, this is what happens when you fall too fast..”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

24.4.17
Naked truth (dysfunction, never perfect) (self, heart beats, feeling too much + intensity..)

“..listen to its beats, steady of this mind, how it will turn your thought into interluded narration, your mind is a trapped organ, your finger tips are the only truth in this bodies narration, give it life, so much confused chaos, echoing too loud, can not exist at the same time, each heart beat will get over analyzed to a depth of imagination, the mind is a sick organ trapped in this body, you’ll feel its moods interchange its feeling until, it stops feeling like its painful to breathe, you’ll pick apart your confidence with this bodies words, unsure about which chaotic is connected to its infusion, don’t understand its conclusion, do you see, self, truth, the truth is that self is hard to manage, will always want to write as a form of plea, every poem written is encrypted with wreck, n self, its connected to feeling too much at this intensity, its always trying to mean control, can’t quite catch its pondering, call it for what this organ is feeling, this intensity must mean today is not okay, that when you’re mute to your own silence what is left, that your finger tips will shape shift into mouth, this raw inconsistency is difficult to conclude, to sit with, to breath next to, it comes when most unnecessary, will have you swallowing air before you’re ready to leave your space, before you can close the window n allow all the cool air in, wait..”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Give me time, I will carefully give concluded mental diagnosis of not only myself but try n give the ways in which this mind operates, I’ll show you how quickly you can, turn noose into faucet that is, designed in your own identity, break free of these connecting feelings n watch how quickly your mind has chosen to befriend its own shadow, the stigma behind this healing is that its always going to show you its teeth, it feels like there is no escape when your mind is in constant battle with reality, its never easy to ease its reality back to sane, its not okay that we push aside moods in order to get on with reality, sometimes these good deeds do not go unpunished, this healing resonates the feeling of demise quicker that it can manifest healing, on most days it feels like mute, like don’t tell anyone, like don’t speak, like, you’re not worthy, like, worthy had anything it owed you anyway, given this state, given this healing, these words don’t understand their caution, its unwittingly exhausting listening to this mind as your body sits in silence, don’t move.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

17.04.17

Innocence: “..not weak, submissive shy, kind n gentle, all this, n much more, I miss the days where I could hear carefree whispered into the winter breeze, when spring bloomed with hope, sharing all our secrets to mother earth n, choosing to indulge ourselves in her beauty, I missed this, I missed being able to not give so much thought to dreams, enough to give it pardon free it’s possibilities n, not be scared of its what if’s wanted to be, the one who proves that dreams are worth never letting go that, when you feel defeated by it’s impossible alure this is, why its important to illustrate why you dream in the first place, being a dreamer n having a dream are two different innocences, dreamers are forever mesmerized by reason, for reaching the sky n, asking why the stars they see shine so bright, it’s finding answers when you have been told impossible, dream is, as simple as what you want it to be, I miss the days we talked about how fast we could glimce innocence in truth, rather bind to its opposite trait, not enough innocence, there’s, too much malice that fumbles without our own optimism, it blinding, catch this meditation, n…”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

16.04.17 | 17.04.17

Struggling with reality: “..being forced to come to terms with being grown has a lot of constraints to its noose, they aren’t always the black jacks that fill your conciouness with clarity, with truth, being forced to realise that even though you yourself as a being have to choose some demise in order to grow, in order to change, back home, you’re selflove, you can only realise what reality you have as you watch it disappear before you desperately reach out your hands fast enough to catch its pace n allow it, watch it shatter into micro shooting stars, the way commanding wish to a content struggling reality, is it a combination of your worst fears, emotions, rainbows to fill in this mood, this grow, how do you grow without struggling in reality, pain manefests n changes people more than we would like to admit, it resonates penetrating so deep into our stream of consciousness until it awakes, until we’re comfortable with change, until…”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

15.03.17 | 17.03.17
“..just in case we forget because sometimes we all need reminding, here’s to getting out of bed n dreaming about the next day..” Otaku..(self)

“..don’t know how many weeks, months its been since, feeling like myself as of this moment n that’s important, my body is back to feeling like I am here, I have managed to grip myself out of the despair inside of this body n I am feeling the aftermath of its manifestation, I’m back to self care which make no mistake also includes catching up on the next manga n frantically scanning the latest anime, as well as my unhealthy updated myanimelist what I’m saying is, all I want, is someone to just come with me n watch a silent voice the anime movie with me, apparently its showing here too, I’ve been dying to see the anime since its pv..” (..stop me I could go on and on..)