Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

18.8.17 | Kind

Been rationally drowning self in understanding how it is you love someone and whether words that learn how to cut tongues and bind itself to narrative that live in the masquerades of awkward glances, side way smiles and pretty words, how we, are watching love move, and dip its self first, is this really love at all, capable of taking such an intensity by what you seek rather than what you see, I mean, if we really think about what it means to love someone beneath the surface of what is in our horizon and feel, one of the unambiguous confessions left honestly is what we seek, I’m not repeating about the way we configure tangibles and intangibles, I’m begging what varies, the in between instances where when we make a decision without a seconds thought, immediately play a mental monologue of what we think we saw in love, and there, caught in the gloss memoirs of what we seeked to begin with, in them, holding onto hidden between silver measures of their imperfections, reminding them and ourselves of how fragile we can all be, the human heart beating at each attempt, always, do we really know love at all, what Im really trying to say is a friend once told me, don’t be in a rush, and I remember looking at her and thinking, those are words I have memorized for myself before.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

18.8.17 | Care

The introverted mind, a consolation of masses that are too much to even ponder and what it really means when you’re watching the grey sky from inside of your bedroom window, a mental hereon of an illness that leaves you feeling the breeze from inside the body and learning to care about yourself even if its narcissistic, I’ve come to learn that even with all the pondering done there’s not much room left for taking a break, even so, there is a huge appreciation for silence which most would find softly uncomfortable, but when you’re this invested uncomfortable learns to settle into a kind of body and politely it becomes a survival thing, when you spend this much time with the mind and this kind body you pick up on care that is much deeper than what you may have previously composed, you also don’t like picking up phone calls, so often we forget that its okay to be our selves, its hard to remind a kind of existence that only knows what its been told is okay, and the way we unconsciously allow something that is not greater than us to set our kind of normal being, still, it is not our fault, need to learn ourselves to be kind to our own, and never be submissive or kind to a system that is not kind to you, said that we don’t have to be so strong all the time we don’t have to hide so much of ourselves just to please a temporary feeling, a temporary person, we’re always allowed to feel as valid as someone we love, because if it were them, this strange, you would be softer, kinder, and you would love them harder.

Poem: Melody of Being Animate

21.6.17
keep me (beautiful weakness..)

I might care for you more than you’re willing, able to feed this body with the love I have drowned you into its own meaning, you’re the first and last thought I think about, and its frightening when I think you’re ever leaving, I reminisce so much of the way you speak, remembering words that have been beauty marked into my heart, this fear of loving is making me unable to show you too much of the ways in which I have missed so much of you, it’s tiring, loving when you’re afraid of the receivers response to this intense feeling, this kind of longing is no temporary sensation, the eyes have watched you long enough to miss the way you have been seen into this body, a beautiful weakness, I want to be an intense feeling bind your words to my heart, keep your body close to the mind so you’re unable to live without its warmth, love you the way flames feel when you get too close, I want to melt in your arms long enough to be called yours, you’re a beautiful weakness, and I love the way you form words that are as soft as the way you want to indulge me, keep me safe, I want to be all yours.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

31.5.17 | 31.5.17
I want all of you (heart beats, unseen+seen..)

“I want all of you, the parts that make it feel like we are in a different world, escape this earth just for a moment, you tell me that communication is not as clear, so I tell you it has always been you, told you that I feel more when I am by your side, when you are not there to witness this heart beat and this body has longed for comfort in your words and hands since the day I met you, you tell me you like me back but I, wonder how strong is the feeling of such a replaceable word, you talk about two different realities as though they exist only through you and they do, you tell me I can come with you if I allow the walls I have built to crumble at our feet-, the most sexiest thing you have ever told me is, I want to get to know both you and your mind, before he could allow self to fully commit, it was at that moment I was sure you were the only person I could give everything without having to fear of letting go so easily, it has always been you, I have always wanted and waited for all of you, look what you’ve done..”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

26.5.17
can you really love anyone? (..him, me, you…)


He tells me he can love anyone, words that escape his mouth I’m not sure how aware he is of the context of love, that it grasps depth, we wave into conversation about something so tangible seeking its approval before we have found souls to match our definition of love, he says he can love anyone so I wonder what kind of love he has known, does he know the phrases it pronounces, that its more than just tangible, more than just a feeling that it demands the whole body-,

he whisks me up, I think love whispers sweet into your ears, gives new meanings to things we have and yet to experience-,

he kisses me and tells me the mood is lost so deep into conversation, I tell him nah this is hot-,

his words are flames that ignite this body, I tell him to keep tempting its flame and I wonder what kind of love his known-,

can you really love anyone, he said every one of us are capable of good, kind, love, warm, and I wonder does he love anyone, does he know what love means, what it feels like, how often does he watch it speak, can he find it in me too, are we really capable of loving anyone, he says he sees genuine good in everyone, can love anyone, and I think isn’t he right, we are all capable of loving so why is it that some of us choose not to love back, in a the most literal sense of more than us-,

soft hands grab and tease my sides-,

this earth, others, why is it that we don’t choose love even when love loves us back-, ambiguous, can you really love anyone?

Garden of Words Anime, RAW: Melody of Being Animate

22.5.17
Garden of words (RAW)

“..you speak to me so gently, like you’re touching something fragile, I’ve never told anyone this before, about a lot of things, do you think its too late for me?-, I wish the rainy season had never ended, I’ve always been here, stuck in the same place, its okay, we’re all human, we’ve all got our little quirks-. Him, I think this might, this might be, her, the happiest, them, time of my life-, him, I think I’ve fallen in love with you, her, together with you, in this garden of words..”

A TANKA: Garden of Words (Japanese Literature)

Narukami no sukoshi toyomite (A faint clap of thunder), sashi kumori (Clouded skies), Ame mo furanu ka? (Perhaps rain comes), Kimi wo todomemu (If so, will you stay here with me?), Narukami no sukoshi toyomite (A faint clap of thunder), furazu to mo (Even if rain comes not), warewa tomaramu (I will stay here), imoshi todomeba (Together with you).

なるかみの, すこしとよみて,
A faint clap of thunder,
さしくもり,
Clouded skies,
あめもふらぬか,
Perhaps rain will come.
きみをとどめむ?
If so, will you stay here with me?

なるかみの, すこしとよみて,
A faint clap of thunder,
ふらずとも,
Even if rain comes or not,
わはとどまらむ,
I will stay here,
いもしとどめば。
Together with you.

– Man’yōshū vol. 11, verse 2514 – 2513,
from the movie The Garden of Words –

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

16.5.17

“how they can only remember how much good with this mouth lay on their skin, fixed to their tune, unwound you, disregard feelings of the mind, so quick to forget, silly, on purpose, don’t understand why this is become a recycled melody, the one you can’t stop playing, trying to understand its tunes will only make it hurt even more, let it go, you don’t need to hum so close to those who don’t want to understand your melody of being animate when it comes to the tuning of this mind, watch closely, can you see their off key isn’t in tune matched to yours, do you see it, look closely, do you see it now..”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

16.5.17

they will always come back, forget too often, silly, can’t understand how much good with this body wrapped with theirs, you’ll make the perfect melody together, they come and never forget to leave this broken song right after they finished admiring and appreciating your melody, this, it happens so often they mask their scent into your skin on purpose, silly, you forget to farewell their animate, don’t let there be a next time