Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

3.3.19 | For sad girls and lonely boys, the uncut version

For sad girls and lonely boys, a dedication to hearts that are left uncharted, sweetly melting away at rituals of beauty marks that divine themselves, a meditative state of how our minds ethics work the honeyed ways our hearts chime are we the lost and found within ourselves first, follow paths that bring out the worst of ourselves only to heal ourselves, for those who listen to their heartbeats on reply, those who pay attention to the mind and wonder into its spaces only to find themselves, who easily get lost in silence and smile about all the awkward sensible times they have stumbled into self-love and smiled at its wonders, that have confessed so many times only because they follow hearts that also remind them of sad girls and lonely boys if not most of all the time, the ones who write letters to themselves and throw away all the evidence in trust of the spring breeze, who sit in cars on rainy days falling at ease and sometimes asleep in its comfort, who chase the sun in warm transition days only to wait for the rain to also join in, drink homemade ice tea without the straw, leave the light on at night and watch the dark silver sky, swear they know bliss, know who they love first, the uncanny of winter is not the cold weather but the way it also cradles, a broken love song, has a reason for it all, will tell you love and life is the same but not really, doesn’t understand rules, will say things that have been felt not knowing where to begin first, will let you feel your mind then allow you to speak your heart and ask you the opposites of what has been said, understand we are all mindfully different and still try to help you understand her heart, and mind, are the only addiction that is ever in the centre of her whole existence, will say to you do you see the beauty in everyone too, believes empathy is more than its definition, has an attention spam of a gold fish or two on most days, on good days I am enough, I will always return to this moment right here, this is where I would want to exist ready for all the oceans I am not ready to admit my name.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

1.3.19 – 2.3.19 | CO₂ + H₂O + heat energy

You speak harsh words with my pulse with my heart tucked behind your tongue a few words there is no entrance, there is no more space for that kind of dependency here, you’re lost air, we travel so far for hearts that trick fire into needing them, brave blue flames that circle its vicinity I have burnt everything that does not serve my highest being, we do not settle into breaths, loves air is enough to share, being empathetic is not a weakened thing for lost souls that have struck enough times in the name of love, blue of all these hearts learned to ash them into the air, magic tricks are not new here, we know to cast spells mantras to self this way you burn flames that have mastered fearless freedom who would even dare no young dumb shit here, let them come, come correct, let them come to me even then when flowers are not enough and you crave something that was so hard to live without, I remind myself that I have lived without air for so long they are no longer welcome into this home, I have wished long enough for this season to love sick out of my home, I can feel the way my body still craves air like I could need hands that are not mine and familiar about the places air has touched, air takes my breath away and I am a willful prisoner to his strength, air doesn’t know this yet but I meant every love potion I said even when air was not ready, who could love you so hard this way anyway, find your way back to me, I hope you lose yourself the way I once did too, I hope the wind takes you under its currents and you fight for your way to me, funny is me trying to write you after you had gone your taste still in my mouth how careless a lost presence flowered weeds burnt at my feet, a rainy spring is air spell bound, carried away by this home, there is smoke where you used to touch, these days I can not feel your breath here if I tried, I tell myself do not leave the door open this way this is how flames get put out easily too, all that’s left, is all in memory of a feeling.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Something like a few hours, and I’m so carelessly lost in a warmly lit room, I’ve set the air free to desire, I can’t resist falling into my own body, I close my eyes, lay on the bed, my arms across the sheets, I listen to the soft song I’ve put on reply, touch my skin, smile, I’m thinking about how warm and addictive this feeling is, want it to stay, I open my eyes softly brake into a familiar tune along with the replay button, then I, turn my rhythm to the wide full-length mirror gazed at me, I looked up at her naked, paused, when was the last time I saw this kind of happiness, I try not to guess too hard, can’t help stare in awe of its expressions, my mind has already lovingly grabbed at my sides pulling me closer, I smile a little, tease all angles and continue to love my body like this.