Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

29.1.18 | 9.3.18 | 19.3.18

What do you want? I want to know that too, where do you see this going? I don’t have answers to these things, I am a misfortune and a bound soul left in my conscious where I think I belong, what are you hoping for? I hope that the things that are this way that is not okay turn into the moon, where are you? I don’t know how to answer that, who are you with? I am in a place far away from here, somewhere surrounded by a heartbeat and outside of myself, how are you feeling? I am suffocating on this air, my chest feels like crowded and breathless at the same time, I don’t feel safe here, what does safe look like to you? it doesn’t have eyes, its a feeling that can not be described but felt deeply in the heart, I wouldn’t know where to begin, what is left for this body now that you’re accepting to learn about its tamed anarchy? I am learning that we are most alike, that we meet these types of souls for a reason and to dwell on its absence is not always a formality but an acceptance of ourselves and how we choose to exist and exhaust this lifetime, so you have found appreciation yet? yes and maybe, in the form of everything that lives around my truth there are no such things as abnormal nor less important than one another, this connection is a mutating confession with this dream-like reality that lives externally of us, so what would you call it? I want to know that too, I don’t have the answers, I am a bound soul that turns into the moon, where are you? I am in a place far from here, its a feeling that can not be described but felt by the heart, maybe, this connection is a mutating confession with dreamlike realities that are in a constant rotation of ourselves and how we choose to be timeless, which could mean, we are an internally pending reality.

Gratitude Diary Entry #tano

” I’ve watched and felt this body go through so much alone, its still learning to trust others and its self more than anything in this world, when you learn to become the rain you also learn about all else that comes with it, you know what it feels like to be hope, and what it feels like to despair, this is how you’re unbelievable strength for a body that it learning what it means to not just exist, but to live with purpose and to rescue itself with loving integrity…”

I tell you how I often begin my days early in the morning with the light breeze and morning sounds breathe through my window, these are usually my best starts to my day, yesterday I forgot to eat and slept through my stomach because I had forgotten what it felt like to be hungry, I was kept wake by my false act of mixing medication with an unwanted diet and it stopped trying to work, I’m learning what I need to do in order to feel its full affects and my body is not really adjusting, the symptoms include, sleep, no apatite, sleep, nauseous and dizzy spells like I was a baby learning to walk for the first time, today I haven’t slept, left text messages on reply and didn’t call back, but I have gained a sense of myself back, staying up all day and night into a quite space can also have its benefits, there’s something really powerful about being able to sit by yourself and be so vulnerable and uncomfortable with yourself up to the point of raw honesty in your type of solitude. I can say I am now making a clear reminder to take my medication more seriously at a strict time as well as change my diet for my health. Its been a great deal of trouble, however, today I am glad for my self-awareness \ initiative to slowly bounce back.

Today I am grateful for: Today I am grateful for my self-awareness \ initiative.