BUY MY BOOK: Fire in the Rain. 2021

$25 each. Email me at hussfatma@gmail.com for a personally signed copy with a personally selected quote.

Entry #17 Covid has me unemployed after being employed and Im trying to get myself yet through another chance and restoring my livelihood when it is being threatened. How are you all doing?

So I just lost my full time job because I put in my resignation for my current full time job due to covid my timing could not have been anything but perfect, can you hear the sarcasm in my typing. I had a long drive from work today thinking about how life makes it possible to have so many fall backs and lessons with your own mental therapy about an outcome you so deliberately planned for, thinking about how this sounds so familiar back in 2019 dragged until 2020 and not until that year toward the middle I finally found ripe security in something I had wanted for myself so bad, I had worked so hard I deserved this chance. I was driving home from work today after what felt like a long shift thinking I worked so hard to get back to right where I began and for the first time in my life of downfalls I could not cry about it. My mentality lead me to lead us out of this mess the only way I grew to know how and that was with my strength to never give up on myself. I told me myself “I will never give up on who I am becoming and never give up on myself now. I have been hurt and down this rabbit hole of despair I will not fall for its old tricks again or at all I am better than this, I know I can get myself out of anything if I really wanted to so here I am getting myself out of yet another attempt and my livelihood.”

This is to us, those who once had a job and are now struggling with how the pandemic has handled our livelihoods. This is to us, we will make it out of this too I strongly believe in myself and I strongly believe in us, we have got this no matter how you look at this we have got this, no matter how it feels we have got this, there is always opportunity wherever you look, keep going this is no time to stop. Take some time to ease your body, soul and spirt about this, and as you’re calming down, adapt get yourself back to where you belong and that is being the best version of yourself for who you’re becoming to be.

Fatma.

Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

“Must be nice” said fire. | 19.8.21

It must be nice, to sit and think in silence I wonder what that could feel like, I wonder if it feels like a realisation or a thought. Sometimes I like to sit in silence with my thoughts and wonder if this is what it feels like to wonder and realise in silence; then I say out loud, how could it be this, how can we measure silence without bias we can’t understand its body let alone find it however we know its worth we have seen its values and we are wanting it for us too, –so soft, I think it must be like watching fire dance alongside its smoke, it must be something about its solitude in its own silence measured by an instinctive nature I wonder what that could feel like, I wonder how our thoughts come to us in a dream time and we sit in silence wonder at its values and measure it along side our solitude, I think our solitude is like a fire and we are the smoke that builds to rise and fall as we breath to allow instinctive nature. –Play with me.

Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

Drawing to stay alive. | 13.8.21

As it gets closer to my birth right I hear the sun through my skin, I can feel the change is near she is invited, she carries her optimism as her secret weapon so that when you see nervous she wills herself here the most, ,—a cunning nature that is vulnerable to the seeing eyes say those who do not see the whole of me have no worth to see me at all, —tell them to watch themselves as they spill right in-front of you say how careless are we to think a better version of ourselves dare you a heart too, dare you a mind that has learnt to skin alive she will peel back your layers you are layered, did you know this when you broke you lips to speak in poison? That each parts of self has soul so that begs each mouth to be the reckoning of legacy be the part where you first witnessed yourself glory be the sky you are the sky, this is your story to tell. —So tell me baby rain, when was the last season you first fell stumbled and picked your soul back up, we have to remind ourselves everyday who we are is plenty becoming and plenty sunflower, see the light ambers it shines deep into the fate of her eyes destiny she is your legacy to leave this earth and travel to the moon least once and back say—, have you heard of the ocean and how she swallows you whole like the way the sky and the ocean could hold the same space learn your deepest of desires make you smirk at you, seeing a sea reflection into these parts of the world, how they travel magically familiar into one another, have you seen this happen before; tell me, do you know what I mean?; please tell me you know what I mean? I have lived a many life’s and all have never been my first nor my last they have lived as I have became to live them and outlive them our past selves are travellers, and our future souls are to bare witness of the metamorphosis of our physical being hold prayer for our glory too, though soft to the touch this body has known much evil fire try to take her away from all that is good and well, again are we bodies reminded of our strength our power into us matched to our soul some more; shhhh can you hear the voices of intuition guiding your through this thought of mission too, we are purposeful beings there is nothing we are not capable of becoming even when we cry about our attempts enough to fill the sea her self, we come back to the ground just to reach the sky herself we revive as the rooted sunflower’s walking upon this land here in this form as we carry our voice as fruits of our labour too to say we did our best here, we will continue to become our greeted legacy even if it kills our past and ignites our future this is our dream, this is our story. — That’s quite enough of that from me, I’ve told you mine, now, won’t you share with me a part of your soul too?—