Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

Astro creatures | 8/10/2023.

I tell her come down

Our world has fallen before heartstrings know when they have been had

When they have been replaced with what makes more sense, the how in heart behaviour, she has been the replacement long before she was born

Her blood curses her out in her favourite way, out loud and green some of us prefer to perish before the after life we like to be in control of our mortality

Some of us have vanes that seem blue but are actually disguised as green

I’ve been told to stop feeling so blue to stop being so blue but how do I let them know that for you to survive the next level is to murder your ego, I advice them

Take your mask off this instant.

They never warn you about yourself unless the skin matches the mirror

Here, we get to close and wonder why,

Here, we make connections that are dreamt into astro they don’t tell you that a carrot is a hybrid that if you eat too much for your vision you might turn into an orange light

Fuck around disappear, fuck around become clean, here we like to play with the words and evolve them as they desire to appear, here we live in open awareness, -here we choose this way of a life first.-

What they don’t tell you about happiness is that it is okay alone too, what they don’t tell you about love is that it will require and surrender you first every-time. – when you feel this is a clear sign of vulnerability, I will charge your time for this healing. Next time it won’t be this cheap.-

Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

14.3.23 | Love meets Loving.

I haven’t written about her since our last conversation with blood since we walked away from our light to face our shadow since we blindfolded our mind(s) to the world and shut inwards. We haven’t felt this world since we were reunited with our second, our heart has missed our care and sensitivity to self, our mind has been busy learning to unlearn itself and together we are teaching her about free will, she has waited o long to be here. –I don’t think we have met. My name is divergent. It’s nice to finally be seen.– Realizing your mind has never looked this loving, it has never looked this respected we have found our respect for self and are passing it down to the generation of our trauma in this world and the second, we are actualising a life we have known in the second home and finally living in its light, we are not ashamed of our intelligence we are not suffocating our spirit and we are intentionally unconditionally-zing our life of choice, we have worked on our body in this home long and honest, we have trusted her path for us and she has held our hand through every hurt, we are no longer giving chances to those who do not present with empathy, love, respect, boundaries, gratitude, and many more extensions of a successful life. We are living a successful life. We have lived past each day, and our mind has suffered silent battles, and we have held her hand through every breakdown. We are her first love. We have fallen in -love with ourselves again.–

Eve of spring to summer. | 26.12.22

You can’t take back the things you said, when I spoke my dreams to life you flicked them away like they were black girl fairy tales, I had to catch myself which made it mean I had no choice but to have strength in my words, when I begged for your love it was hard for you to understand this will always have a part of my childhood, –now I am able to grow my own garden, I had to teach myself what it meant to love truly, I was forced into depression as though my life depended on the prescription I taught myself how to live instead of surviveing I did it alone.– When I was breathing under my second world for my own love first, you can’t mask your words without it using them again, so you use them again, this time I feel my heart break this time I can feel my mind go numb at blood, my body has left me she has saved my soul we are existing in our second life this is how it has always been, since flowers, since third home, since I don’t want to look at people and be disappointed at their words for me, when it comes to this skin, I am always forced into spaces I do not belong in, how I see myself I can show you if you let me, how I choose to present and be present is slowly becoming my super power Honey is teaching me about puzzle pieces and I am thankful about the –meet-cute–.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

The undead. | 16.11.22

Russ sang (2021) “Misunderstood, you only see
Pieces that fit your view of me
Your mind is made up, my hands are tied
Misunderstood time after time.”

I missed this, grape dreams high as grape trees we are the undying melodramatics that sit in the evening sky to hear if the world sounds different now, we see so much of its life on our bodies, the lines that curve our palms to the light hairs that gaze at the afternoon brief sun, welcome to Spring. During this time of year, we are most of everything and anything at once, we prefer to be called Spring in late November. I can hear the chants louder now, I can listen to our bubbly life crush like waves against the currents, I tell you I can feel it all. I mean I can listen to how my hearts feelings break with every gas-lit, I can feel my mind see the shuttering of possibilities of loosing who I have worked so hard to become at the sight of undying love, to watch as the operation in me the 33 reason just to be forsaken and granted otherwise; have we not died enough? I often ask myself now was there anything to save if there wasn’t anything wanting to be saved, burning more Cole, more Russ and Russel we have been finding ourselves too long they say to me -you have been anything but what I want you to be-, screaming with their mouth closed I think to say screaming with my mouth open. -I am no one but myself first-, reciting citation of nothing but mad mouths and not my mouth we have not been each other around each other, we have been hesitating to bare truth knowing this will not work for us. Our love does not stand a chance against our truth,- and so I ask, have you heard of the Spring in late November? Have you read her words and yielded their power for truth in front of fear? Have you witnessed to brave Spring bring back November from the wake of realms to present then you have not lived long enough to witness the rebirths of deaths. -A fearless spirit guided by untamed compassion.- There is nothing to fear here -I tell her, love.- Loves come in great forms and leaves a Spring in late November, we are the prophecy of its legend.

Russ sang (2021), “I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired
Of overexplaining myself when you don’t want to get it
I’m not responsible for what you don’t understand
Just for what I say and who I am.”

To my defence I missed this, grape dreams high as grape trees we are the undying melodramatics that sit in the evening sky to hear if the world sounds different now, we see so much of its life on our bodies, the lines that curve our palms to the light hairs that gaze at the afternoon brief sun, welcome to Spring. During this time of year, we are most of everything and anything at once, we prefer to be called Spring in late November.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Its Spring time again. | 7.11.22

When I close my eyes, I ask us about the pillars we have held in our life, against the dark blue skies and thirty-three moons I am met with so much majesty, I close my eyes —again—. I can see now that we have come here to teach me about how my longing has to always be at our states of peace beck and call, that when our embodiment is of the lights we care to see into the silver sky is when we come to know of such words that hold into our blood, that have the nervous system to call onto our love for words, how they cradle our inner child and call at self some more. —We have forgotten how she felt about love—, almost forgot we are love. Our body has not had the greatest of love stories yet but I am told she has thirty-three wishes. We have love to thank for this, love was our saviour is our coild strand curl, yet she too calls upon tranquil serenity to bask under its light just to show more gratitude into my body so wr can make space to talk to our soul; And —right here, is where my worlds collide again.—

Entry #17 Covid has me unemployed after being employed and Im trying to get myself yet through another chance and restoring my livelihood when it is being threatened. How are you all doing?

So I just lost my full time job because I put in my resignation for my current full time job due to covid my timing could not have been anything but perfect, can you hear the sarcasm in my typing. I had a long drive from work today thinking about how life makes it possible to have so many fall backs and lessons with your own mental therapy about an outcome you so deliberately planned for, thinking about how this sounds so familiar back in 2019 dragged until 2020 and not until that year toward the middle I finally found ripe security in something I had wanted for myself so bad, I had worked so hard I deserved this chance. I was driving home from work today after what felt like a long shift thinking I worked so hard to get back to right where I began and for the first time in my life of downfalls I could not cry about it. My mentality lead me to lead us out of this mess the only way I grew to know how and that was with my strength to never give up on myself. I told me myself “I will never give up on who I am becoming and never give up on myself now. I have been hurt and down this rabbit hole of despair I will not fall for its old tricks again or at all I am better than this, I know I can get myself out of anything if I really wanted to so here I am getting myself out of yet another attempt and my livelihood.”

This is to us, those who once had a job and are now struggling with how the pandemic has handled our livelihoods. This is to us, we will make it out of this too I strongly believe in myself and I strongly believe in us, we have got this no matter how you look at this we have got this, no matter how it feels we have got this, there is always opportunity wherever you look, keep going this is no time to stop. Take some time to ease your body, soul and spirt about this, and as you’re calming down, adapt get yourself back to where you belong and that is being the best version of yourself for who you’re becoming to be.

Fatma.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Balanced Strength? | 22.6.20

I hope we find this well, I don’t usual say this enough but we have been seeking so we come forth the only way we knew how head on, so compelling about our nature to who we think we must, something about being invisible in a star that burns as much as it should how nice, this is a beautiful way to think about your own existence too, can you feel it how your body has began to imagine, radiate so much of what you feel like you think to only be the one who fights off its monsters here on this earth, you tell its story of how this finds their way into your path, you deserves your dream that much more, don’t draw a fool and not think of it as a tool, there is magic round here nowadays we do not always have to see with what we are told to see, blessed to be free minded this will be your greatest relief, a strength like no other magically blessed, we have traveled from lucks planet my belief in myself and the dreams I dare to touch are so much courage I keep growing out of this skin each day a super power becomes in twined with my eternal love in human form, shhh, if you say dream I say bigger, if you say self I say highest, I will sky us to the moon so we can see us from a different view just to show you this is what you should also be looking at too, we can’t blame us if we see this without passion intention of commitment your minds feeling will adjust accordingly, yet, we can’t also blame us if we see this without intensity intention of balance your hearts thoughts will learn to adjust accordingly, if we utilize senses we gain a keen sense of knowing you could sky us to the moon, to places we did not see in turn, when you focus attention ON it becomes whatever it is, teach your mind in turns that it teaches you about a way it only knows how to teach your heart to teach the mind its way it only knows how to teach you, we are ours and ours blind if we can not afford to use our given, when we become protective over us we are speaking in a language that knows us for our fears and our brilliance, I say this because we have always been two 1’s of everything, I motivate this belief by saying them out loud to see how my body identifies this balance too. -We have learnt it all head strong.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Black Lives Matter 2020 (BLM) | 11.6.20

I am high steady fast on protecting my future children, black is family past present and future we do not split, we are the traveled ancestral family blood, we are here to stand in solidarity of black bloodies, there has not been an act of peace or justice we have been chanting since we first saw the white man spill our blood, we have been reclaiming each and every time we are forced out of our pockets, out of homes, spaces and made to feel inadequate from our very existence, we are forced to take back our human, we are being told in constant aggression, some think we do not see them masked with white lies we are not allowed to be a content life, I will never see black skin the way you see it, whiteness has cheated our people of our greatness think we too far gone to see how much home when they see nothing, talk about it on stolen genocide for gated land, don’t stand there and tell me you don’t see colour as you talk in micro aggression, white fragility is old, we have been making something of white noise you are not listening, we are not asking anymore we are taking it back, Tamika talked about it right, Amanda told us, she called on our power, they know what they are doing here, they’ve known how they strip black of human long ago, we are knowing of our history some of us are tired of having to use our voice it aches, we have had to learn to bare it, to use it standing strong, this has been our fight since the dare you declared war on our people with your white laws, protecting nothing and swearing into the faces of black bodies, your laws are too white to see us, too much black ink to paper not enough black bodies to reach importance of justice, just enough to break whole families right, this is what you and your people have done through out stolen lands right, you will remember this day too, when our black is subjected to violence at the hands of that will not protect them do not be surprised when black people come at you with the same fight in their being to protect themselves from the same laws that do not protect black bodies, it is facts that to this day there are 437 indigenous black deaths in custody, it is not okay for white people to feel so comfortable to disarm black lives in context that would go as far as to say the Black Lives Matter protests are a uniquely American movement, no, have you not been listening, black bodies have suffered and asked enough, injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere, you go as far to say attempts to retrofit it to suit local conditions ignore the quantum improvements the Australian justice system has made in its treatment of indigenous Australians, no, you’re not listening, enough is enough, look at the facts, indigenous bodies are dying at the hand of justice what is wrong with your heart, we should not have to use metaphor to explain such a pandemic, people are dying without any justice and not one or the people compliant and present at these scenes are being help accountable which is to say that this type of murder is acceptable on our stolen lands, I should not have to tell you this, our own country leader thinks it is not that bad in Australia, no, you’re not listening, black bodies are being targeted in micro to fetal scenes I am pissed, it wasn’t so long ago that we were protesting for the young black men to move freely here, the same young black men who should feel safe walking with their friend groups instead of being subjected to primary walking targets here, I’ll say it again, black bodies continue to suffer at the hands of the same justice system that is meant to protect, these are the same white voices that instigate our black family and think to know they will go unaccounted for and in white Australia they do, it is imperative to voice and stand up for injustice that perpetrates violence when they are swarm to protect, that no where to hide from all these black screens will you have no choice but to confess we are doing the justice without the badge, when they speak in segregation and we speak in mass pull up we are the sovereignty, it lays with us, listen, you can not take and be silent with your whiteness you have to do the work, when you practice a life it becomes you, how much power are you willing to give, how much of your privilege are willing to use, the world is watching now, listen, white people and people of colour who are not black and want to be respectable allies being silent is not enough now, if you are in ally act like it, call the racist people in your communities and homes out, talk to them, we are done talking to you about it now it is your turn, talk to your community, black people are tired of how we are left to rebuild catch your tongue tell it to re home its words, ask why it makes sense to you that my black body is still up for debate as to whether it is allowed to breathe, if you will not show us respect we will come down on you like MLK, the easy way is to do the work and hold white and persons of colour racists accountable for their harm on black bodies, we are done with the way the white system continues to perpetrate and gaslight us into a war we did not ask for, you wanted this, we have out grown incompetence lack of impatience for human decency can do that it can turn black into panther, it can make you look at mirrors before you crash into them, black bodies have always been at a fighting chance, the time for asking has out grown our generation we are tired of its voice to our bodies and not the other way around, we cannot fight from within comfort now we are forced to fight out loud, we will not stop until you continue to show us that are willingly going to do the right thing.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Everything, your fears and your happieness in a few worlds. | 8.06.20

How human are we or how human do we have the need to become before it is too late to come across our side lines and look at all our wreckage, must we burn each time we are handed our life line, how to survive the survival who else to be a better teacher than those who you hold great love within yourself, so tell me though what about you, how well do you trust that you have this under control, can you break enough to listen how close to death must we fall, nothing comes close to be the parents our life knows us so capable, are you holding your garden accountable to your hidden forms, how often do you choose to lie to yourself to prove loyalty, say you hold worlds, your words not only in formation of your gossips but you care enough to fight for what you believe, what if what we believed was wrong, what if I told you that what we feel is intelligence at its rightful highest form when worked on, life times ago we held our emotions in our palms, we protected with our words and knew about how much power it hold, this is not wishful, capability lies in the hands of its beholders throats, you’re saying what you’re wishing there for what you’re wishing is what you’re working towards if you do not have the earnestness to fulfil dreams who are we really, more, can we be more if we do not hold us accountable for actions that have learnt to play out right before our very own eyes for us to clear the path we have fumbled into time and time again, a hell that grins down on those to say look at your guilt, face it running away will make the fires hotter, who are you to not question your own fated conscious, you will not loose yourself I promise you this, there are many happens waiting for you over on the other side, how brave have you gotten since you last spoke to your whole body-, Come here dear love, lets sit together, I want you to unburden yourself, I choose to be your waterfall oasis in this moment and moments to come if you promise to be your own first world.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Her Garden. (Spring is upon us) | 19.5.20

Stop me, I am about to make myself make the biggest best mistake of my life, if I do not take this chance, I am seeing evidence every where its exciting yet it questions my every motive, I am unsure about its presence not only here but here to come, 3 years going to 4 is a long time to have wanted, I’ve learnt a lot since then, changed right before I could even make sense of existence itself, found newness in everything I envisioned, I’ve made my share of mistakes without you too, I’m starting to think in ideas, in details of wholes, worlds, the mechanics of questioning the details the time it takes is its unmeasurable, it never stops-, I am having the best time of my life lone in two worlds but never alone, I know about companionship, what it offers, know that it can taste both bitter sweet the way I like my hunger to more knowledge, food, tug and pull at things enough and you can have a power, there, in that magic plot to change its perception in your mind, which is to say are you okay even today, how do you explain that your thirst for more about worlds is connected to skin ship, maybe even made love more passionate, there is something so breathtakingly wholesome about experiences crafted of knowledge and later also learn to thrive into the threads of intuition, the weight it lifts off your shoulders and takes stresses away from the tail bone, able bodied, like it disappeares so the next conversation with your soul isn’t that much more speechless, that you can listen to your own voice and feel a sense of comfort, a calm of growing gardens so beautifully radiant it gleems with the sky a patient blue talks into your two worlds, words you didn’t know you needed to hear and again you start to feel the less of unknown pains you did not know you carried all these years, then a beautiful thing happens, you’ve made it here, came aliened your two dominant elements, now let the healing really begin.