Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

19.9.18 | my lover letter

love me harder, I mimic those close to my heartbeat so I can speak their love language too, I invite their souls into my heart tell them, thier hearts are safe here and their mind is free to wonder in my presence I will make them feel light too, I smile so hard at the things that make me the most unhappy because this is a beauty mark I have learnt as a child too, I walk on moondust because I do not feel safe here, my mind is a safe space even though it never lets me rest its thoughts we are constantly in melody of each other about how to love and care for this body the best way we know how, my heart is like spring, if you pay attention to me I am yours until you stop trying, my body has leanrt to hold back and not allow for unworthy heartbeats to form thier presence even when the heart has already mistaken kindness for a pulse, we are not afraid to love but we’re afraid to break into two even halfs, people say we are strong this way too because we have taught the heart what it means to be both fragile and agile in the same beat, this is the best thing we do, when I am not in love, I think about its meaning and rearrange its concerlatons with differnt outcomes and reasons for its ache we’re never safe from its warmth, I tell souls close to me to always choose love but be warry if its teachings, I am not an expert on love just a girl with purple hair who writes crazy love stories to her own warmth; I wonder who will be next.

Advertisements

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

4.8.18 | loading…

There’s nothing more terrifying than yourself, when you reach a space in the mind where your body becomes this conscious unconscious being you’re left in limbo, its been nearly 2 weeks since I have started feeling this disconnected and in search of human touch and allowed for words like resistance, temptation and respect outside of myself, I’m constantly looking for answers in this person and I’m really starting to question whether they can be found only within me, I’m not doubting myself, I’m just trying to understand how it is I can heal through other faucets when these words keep attacking my healing shields, what do you do when you start to fall into obvious low’s when you’re feeling depressed it almost feels like almost nothingness, how do you change the taps to things like temptation and a quick fix I am at a point in my mental where I am realizing that I am not a person of strict routine when it comes to self-care, I mean I’m starting to think that maybe I should try and go back to routine, try to see how it works instead of blindly following help from things that I can not touch, my only problem with routine is that after a while, routine slowly begins to have the opposite effect-, I am still loading…

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

4.8.18 | honesty’s ego

I have been capitalizing my spare time with chaos and conversation around a type of self that is coming to terms with a truth, ultimately, when you make mistakes in the blood of others you have to be ready for the imploding downfall of its reparations, there is choice with every intention and sometimes we are so quick to choose temptation over what is the right thing to do, when you cross over truth you cannot call on your name whisper sweet words coated in honey even you are capable of sweet talking yourself into clout, you say you favor honesty, be critical about the way you over share yourself this body is both self-destructive and hope encased in flowers in the same algorithm, you, are not safe from your words remember, choice is a repercussion of its representation, be both gentle and careful when you bark at not only yourself but others, do not sweeten your mistake call it for what it is, this, this is how you heal and sugar cane honesty for its true class, be brave enough to allow uncomfortable into honesty’s pride when you misplace your choices into its ego, deem there will always be consequences for its bark, do not make light of its claim, or be ready for its noise.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

22.6.18 | a LIVE dream

I’ve been existing and accumulating enough of myself to attempt to understand my two worlds, been at a loss with both sensations both double meanings and its past present form, now its bringing new frame on my clout to its own estranged fantasies, identity has always been a layering conundrum, finding it unfathomable to attach me at such a replaceable pace of words to the parallel of an evolving being, I don’t believe in strict definitions of ourselves when we live in a time warp of unexplored galaxies planets lost spaces enough apart with dream like futuristics you’re capable of being crazy and sane at the same time just the same mind games of what is in fact “normal” and strange to the naked body almost alike, I conclude skies because I believe we’re greater than what already exists, that’s why when I bleed self care and love it is also a sign for the bodies that feel the same ache who struggle to be understood in a world covered with so much mouth and not enough eyes, who fearlessly care for others and forgot about their own breath in the same capacity, empathy can easily turn you into apathy be careful of its schooling, you’re to swear into this body the way it has learnt to adapt in a planet that dose not care about its own healing, lose yourself in minds that explore boundaries from existential bearings these intentions are lacking in both worlds, although the feeling is combined by stranger meanings its masses already stronger and monetized in my dreams before it learns to come to life first, the world is not ready for such love, still suffocating on experiments that are laughable in the presence of those who reap this kind of reward, pause, you’re permission enough-, alive dream.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

baby laughs at herself in a good way, the best days are when I don’t miss mirrors, this reflection is its own kind of temptation, days like this, I think about how anyone puts up with my treasured pride, when I’m feeling this kind of love its contagious I might just tell you my secret and cast spells with my smile, its walking past strangers watching them, they too can’t help but look at all of you like you’re out of this world and you want to tell them you are, I still do the same silly things that make hearts melt, write stories in my mind bringing them to life, this type of revolution is mine and dreamers alike, we tell lovers what we want, we have spent dangerous amounts of time in our own bones we give flowers all its bloom, and spark blue flames-, try not to get burned.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

6.6.18 \ the L word

I am witness that nothing can prepare to compare when you kiss someone who has learnt to steal your heart charmingly, hands that notice the hiding spaces you quiet down next to them, breathe at the same time to open your world for the L word with your fingertips reaching into their heart and mind, guide them carefully, warn them this wonderland utpoia has been a paralysis of heaven even without their love first, they are the first to be welcomed, you warn them a second time reminding them how this body is selfish when it comes to my love so you tightly hold their hand saying be careful, tell them to speak in trailingual, flowers, speak in the rain and dreams, your secrets are my secrets too now, answer, I have fated us both, choose a kingdom, you kiss them gentley whispering, I’ll be waiting for you right here, so come to find me

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

6.6.18 \ kissing.

Kiss, I can be nice and I can be casanova, I’ve learnt so well what it means to romance hearts and never exhaust melody of being animate, kiss me and tassle your words tightley enough around my neck wrap your hands with mine, please; and melt me with your rare, kiss, I get bored easily so be careful with my heart, it is bored to death with all the lies and split hearts of ghost words with no erotics, kiss me again, I am warned by her’s and him but I could not warn you enough about me, I’ll giggle into your ear whisk my tongue down your lips to your neck you have been warned about how I get my ways, it’s just one allure after another, bite you back and create fantasy right before your eyes, hands tied behind your back, I am not afraid to show you how much I love, when you love me too-, love you.

Article #4: What do you do in situations that break the body? Infj-p self help perspective.

I’m so scared right now. You know when you know that the things that you know just aren’t going to happen to you, and you are sure that these things can not and will not happen to people like you forgetting you’re not the only loyal, honest, thoughtful, respectful person walking this life time regardless of how few. Yea.

Today (third day now) has been rough in terms of love, mental health and overall health. I like to think of myself as someone who is not so terrible in these situations and all I need is proactive advice, space, and time for myself. Let me explain.

When I found out this situation happened to me like most it was an immediate flash of disbelieve and there must be another reason. This narrative is honestly just a semi calculated breather of what I do and did with situations that I feel make me struggle with reasonable response, solution and over all well-being.

So the first thing I want do to when I notice something is wrong is of two things. One, listen to my body and two, seek the professional help needed. It’s so easy in our generation nowadays to Google a self research in these situations, and don’t get me wrong you’re being proactive for your body and that’s a healthy trait. However, it’s when you start to settle for this kind of help is when it becomes unhealthy. Remember, the internet will always be a black hole ambiguous answer engine, when even from the begin, you are unsure about what your body is trying to communicate with you. So be mindful to listen to your body, and seek professional attention.

The second urgency for me after I’ve listened to my body and seeked professional help, is to have some space. This could mean either having some one I love and trust wholeheartedly to talk to, to wanting my own personal space for my mental health to come to terms with the situation. I honestly switch up between the two interms of order because that’s what helps me the most, considering I’m a fairly private person. Just to sum up the second point, communication with some one you love and trust as well as what will personally help you whether it be time alone, or even speaking to your psychologist. This part is customizable, it’s acting as a segway for you to a healthy alternative reliever.

Then the final thing for me personally after I’ve done all these steps in order, is connect with myself in a loving way. You may know this more clearly as self love and self care. The reason why I put this under these two definitions is because it’s so easy when we are in an unfamiliar situation and head space to start to look at the situation in ways that are damaging to our self love and care; And these head spaces are very dangerous to the body in three parts. One your mind, two your body, and three your core. When I say core I’m stressing characteristics that are important to you and help shape who you are like core values, core beliefs and/or faith and more. For me alone time means to rekindle and remind myself the importance of worth, love, and care. I take time to help the love and care for myself as infinitely as I am able by acknowledging I am in no way perfect, that this is another pivotal learning stage in my life and that it will continue to shape me into a more kinder and diligent person. Not only for myself, but also for people whom I care about the most too. Because I understand I love to also help others find these types of life lessons too, as well as what’s the point of knowledge, if you can’t share it. Also I’m learning over all health also means internal health, being mindful of what I choose to put into my body without being too harsh on it’s soul.

Just to beautifully some up this breather. One, listen to your body and seek professional attention, two, take time in your own way everybody is talented different and lastly. Self love and self care is so important do not ever take yourself for granted. YOU IS SMART! YOU IS KIND AND MOST OF ALL YOU IS LOYAL!!! You’re only human so be gentle with your body, and remember perfection is unattainable and does not exist, because to us all perfection is an indifferent perspective and as good of a stereotypical statemeant and/or judgement as “good choices in society’s standards.” I’ll let that sink in.

“Thank you for reading.” _fh

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

23.5.18 | SH****.

Infinity, its started again, pushing love away so that I won’t have to explain myself and I stopped going to see remedy, I’m having trouble understanding the same solutions there’s nothing left to talk about, so I took a break, I had been told and asked to take prescription, but I found it funny how it made me feel worse, food was not even a priority, I gave it up because it was the quickest painful silence I could show, like here, please look at my pain, and tell me it gets better, I started coughing out these happy pills I could taste them in my breath my body was refusing to accept their help, my mind was no where to be found the two souls were forgotten and mistreated, the heart was slowly dying, and my body fought for a feeling, to be alive, it despised its name and told me this is not the answer you’re looking for, I chose not listen to the only thing healthy enough to fight for my health and now I’m in and out of gp’s like the silence in their rooms, I’m trying so hard to be noticed and cared for like my childhood is still gasping for air, I feel my child like self-resurfacing and causing fitna in their hearts because I want so bad to be noticed and cared for without having to cry for help, right now, I’m sitting in my car, confused about what the right thing to do is, wishing I had never tried temporary happiness in substitute for food, like all I knew was to never miss its white lies, to never over look my bodies cries, I just feel lost at this point, feels like there is no other way to drain out the pain because I’m not brave enough to cut out the evidence so this is another way of surviving too,- the only peace I have gained back is, I can feel my body again.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

15.5.18 | in sync

I create utopias out of nothingness how many more can say they are this type of dangerous when you reach beyond skies you melt into its masses there is no such thing as predictable I’ve always envied those who find themselves in chaos so I learnt how to breathe into this world the way a heart breaks and blood over shares.