Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Roll the credits in Purple ink|10.12.19

I’ve been thinking a lot about the come up, how we hustle and grind into a new age, a chance to change to who we are meant to be, I’ve been clocking in and out of my body sometimes the arguments and defeats get in the middle of us so loud in here sometimes we can feel it break our heart, there is so much at stake when it comes to moving into a way about yourself, we have never forgotten who we are, never believed we were any less worthy of our dreams on some days this is also the untruth, we are so capable of vulnerability we open scars we never knew hide so deep into us we have always been searching for her soul too, 2018 the day we decided to chase after our dream here the most when this path weren’t so tricked, when they didn’t set us back but learnt our character, our role play enough to set us back, made us watch the aftermath with our hearts this honest, how this began to trigger more and more of her fired intuition into the mind, we started thinking clearly about a path that we had intention into so much fight you kept learning to break differently this made you move riotously, you were all in accordance to a life purpose, each day you were reminded about how this fight is never ending that when you find yourself doing what you love you’re growing in a way that can not be stopped by anyone not even yourself, self is addicted to her higher purpose so hard she been holding back too long, baby’s mental is on some past 27 shit, know she be writing these melodies until she is given back to the earth, you can never stop dreamers in cold worlds from keeping alive here too-. Keep watching this space but be careful of her magic she is never afraid to show you all she has spellbound.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Collins St (Location: Dreamy book shop.) | 4.12.19

I’m never scared of it at all, I’m not the kind of person who cowers into moonless rope rooms, the ways we speak our love language into existence has always been carried by our way of purple hearts, never to be timid into the aftermath words and its drift importance we all have our part to play, they are not who I am nor who I could also be, they exist for my own disposal and for you to me, my lovable point of respectable kink is to speak to love as is to close my eyes and vanish into the real world, I am the playful character with purple skin she is loving living her life here too, she loves effortlessly without telling love until she hears a familiar feeling her purple heart is both fire and water she knows this too well, every word has a sweet tenderness, a taste of the way it curves and learns to overflow in the mouths, so many planted seeds we open our eyes and walk right into our dreamscape here too, the irony is both intended and wishful, we are always this whimsical after spending loving time with love, we imagine our chosen solitude the real purple print, the combination of beautified awareness does not have to be something we are afraid to affirm because baby scares the unknown too, the mind, body, spirit, truth and unity all within one soul this is what bliss could also look like, I have said this more than I can ever care to admit, words are fooled with double meanings never not what you think it could also be, there is always a ways about it all, do not be a fool for and with human made’s-. At times I wonder at how I view love, I look at it in me and wonder about its intensity, I look at its devotion into others and wonder about its passion, then I wonder about its future, what does love really want from us, and I can’t stop hearing my mind, my heart tending to my mind thoughts, the twins present here too and I watch them say “enough.” We are all at a lose when we come to truly know about the harshness of how we look at who we are trying to connect ourselves to words sometimes more to who we are becoming, its so stupid simple to let the alphabet eat you alive, fill us up without knowing in us first, you know what I mean?

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Chocolate. | 1.12.19

Since we’ve been here we get told to leave us behind so hard, we have out lived our past self each day we breathe this way of life is honest in our self first, how many more encompass riotous elements, more of this seasoned into who they crave reason to be, I am doing my best not to be who I was knowing this who we are meant to be, when we come close to projection we are to have the love meant intended for us when we believe to break, when we fear to chime our trust to our body is what we want to do next, so often we do not go after who we love, forgetting why we love, remembering we are scared of one type of reaction, perspective is a chocolate noun, a troubled stand point if not well nourished, too often we do not see the value we hold space for into ourselves here too, it is not so often we see ourselves but others in hued light-scapes, under the blanket of a dark sky filled with more then the glimmering of the silver stars, in this side of the full moon light glow we are always so close but do not want to understand the courage of what it truly pains to get to happy, we are too far deep in outside of our selves sometimes we have taught our self to forget how to love the twins, we forget how to love each other, under this all you are to be knowing the posy of flowers it may demand with or without you, too playful too serious we get lost into illusions, learn ourselves to fall into state of minds before we fall into state of selves, perspective is perceiving imposter, its how a you came to grow into polishing how perfect our soul could live this far into time leaps, understood that we are never attached to just one but many, its simply put into love, a pleasantness easily explained as over dose into this real is how we love before who we love, our softness is a treasured scent, when you see into a soul you see into their past and present, you feel them in a way that can not be easily explained into this world, baby sees the future so well everything is always on purpose, we are always this allowing of ways into us both sometimes we question the answers the most just so we can hold the pieces up for us to see our reflection back inside of us, people are always curious of others and never who they are starved first, out growing their current self but are not aware enough of this state, when you come to learn this December journey selfishly you find both answers and questions to ask your type of living, you start living in your present, you’re the beginning somewhere near your love and the way they also sneak glances of knowing who you’re outside of this word too, if I told you that this past life time I have seen myself feel others speak without watching their mouths move would you believe me, that when our soul learns its own language we start to speak and hear words in their honest truth just by listening. -Trick question do you know your soul? What does your soul say about you when you’re not listening?

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

28.09.2019 | Dreamspace September, 28th 2019.

In my dreams this isn’t our first time meeting like this, there have been life times of being awake here that have taught me what it means to let dream states like this stay this dormant until they are ready to fulfill their life intentions, in my dreams we talk without fear, without foolish ego’s, we become as honest as soul ships, I tell you you’re my last love, feel my wish into yours, my eyes lost into our dream space, I listen to your heart as you speak your truth here, wonder how blissful this could be with you, you talk about how you never knew love to be this filling, this heated, say it has learnt to take your own breath away, this connection has learnt yourself a careful soul, how each touch, these words that have been given purpose, learn to slow burn flames, believe that your air has never felt this breathless, this type of freedom is a dream like, an air realm of spoken dreams and endearing presentness, a wishful dreamers reality, I close my eyes tighter to stay here longer a love has never felt this real here, we have taught our soul to let go to what does not want to grow with us, we know the abundance of sharing, ethics that have been seen into our acts of how we treat ourselves the souls that roam our life time here, so much goes unsaid and we are left to leave it all behind so we can understand the truth about knowledge, how this campuses our paths, how each route is on purpose, we fear so quick what is not in our senses before we even realise what is in our senses, so much has been left to us to discover there is never not enough of us here, we struggle with placement of our souls some of us have past our awakenings and are rising with the new world ahead of us, this new age of beginning is a beaconing call to look at how well we have mastered our awareness inside and around us, how being at calm with our short comings is the answer that we have missed so long into our ego’s so well, life is lovingly simple, we have been learnt to make it complicated-. Will you choose your ego, or your awareness here too.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

14.8.19 | Dove.

How do I love now, I write you into the places I have found you into my soul, a part of our whole, a beating heart that feels a lot like a home, its a lot like the way it feels watching the rain, its something like finding a whole that speaks my love language and we match intensities, that part might just be the water Venus in me, its nothing like these flowers, I need a worthy flame to match, its being able to surrender to the air around me and liking it, the way it feels with you is the same as when I get to spend the day with my soul surrounding myself with my favorite words, its the feeling of the days where I am silly happy for no tangible reason, moments where I understand the feeling of touch, and stop making love out to be so matter of fact, truth is love isn’t always as logical as we may love it to be, when emotions are involved no matter how much we fight its feeling it will still rise the only way it knows how best, honestly, my love is how it feels to kiss you without any fear, how it feels when you take my hands into yours, its looking into each others souls, loving is knowing my worth is matched in energy and high vibration, they say the way law of attraction works is easy, yet I’m not sure its so easy to know what you want and know what you’re willing to love about souls no matter how much you realize you fill each other, maybe this is also part of being enough into love, I guess I understand that a love connection is something like creating a whole with each others honest selves, like a whole new world, like hearing words like we belong together spoken out loud and remembering that love could be centered at courage.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

13.8.19 | Lit up identity.

Imagine a soft voice of rain, imagine a warm space with two chairs sitting across from each other, I have this theory, that if I can’t sleep when its dark it means I am waiting to dream some more, there’s intentional placements about the night that gives me the most comfort, I can’t really quite explain it all for myself yet, I find the silence asks me about my most intimate desires without any judgment, I have come to crave the way it creates our intimacy, teaches me to ache for my own soul this way first, its an anticipated gentle conversation with my body care free of interruptions, I multiply myself the most here too, and rain candidly here in love too, these nights are my dreaming fables true alter ego-, But I do not judge her process, I make room for her passing, create necessary space for another type of love another type of me-, Night dreaming is a soul mate kind of home, it doesn’t always feel like anything yet just being seems to be enough, this is reminded into us both, sometimes gratitude, some affirmations, strings that held us back watching them melt away from our tree house warmth, life seems much easier in the dark for me, much lighter up here too, the familiar Melody of Being Animate breathes much intense in here, its as though I can know the true lust of words from this silver sky, this is the wake in my care that I can burn the most present, its a cold flame displaced near others without my really knowing, an air like there shouldn’t always be answers for everything yet, I am told my body adores my soul so my path is in everything that aligns with its patience, I’ve been seen to become watchful of my own, a mindful fixer upperer mad of loyal devotion, extensions of you don’t always have to make sense of things that bewilder your identity here yet, sometimes its enough to just let yourself get carried away by the rain, its not fair on your soul to deny yourself the will it desires the most even when it doesn’t match what you need, -More than often having what you didn’t want, is having what you didn’t know you needed, what our body needs is what we want-, This is my warm Smokey candle lit essence warped dreamer in the night-, Her only penetrated fear is herself.

Entry #15: I want to tell you exactly what happened to me today, while trying to leave the house + you should know this was not the first also psa I usually cry about it alone..

22 july 2019 at around 2pm – 230pm – Spring in late November.

I had built up frustration for months and feeling unsettled within myself, so I set out on this day, a Monday to self care by going to Dymocks at collins st book store to have coffee browse around, read and walk back and forth wanting to buy more books.

My morning started out pretty alight. I was still stuck with that type of uncertainty and off mood/ irritation but honestly I had been waiting for this Monday for a few days now and I was determined to leave the house and head into the city. So I meditated with the headspace app for 10 minutes before I did anything else, gathered my energy to getting ready for my self care day as planned. It took me longer than what I had decided on, I kept doing small things like changing what I was wearing, feeling conscious about how my body fit into my clothes, and wanting to take advantage of the winter sun I put on my make up looked at my eye shadow criticised it so I took it off and applied my foundation over it unhappy but still hopeful, and I packed up my bag pack ready to walk out the front door.

As I closed the door behind me, my headphones in walking to the station I started getting into this mood/ energy that was so strong it started to take over my body. I kept walking and thinking I just need to get onto the VLine and I’ll be fine, I just need to get keep walking I’ll be fine,once I reach I’ll be glad I did this for myself. I needed to believe this so hard. Because I had been staying in my own environment and started to feel stagnant and too comfortable with despair. I walked about nearly half way stopped in my path, looked down I wanted to turn back so hard, its as though my body was begging me with all its got to please turn around and go back and try again with another day locked into my mind. I felt so compelled, I went into the side turn not far from home, stood there and calmly walked back home. I opened the door and I remember thinking I miss seeing my dad, I missed his voice and his big hugs, his laugh and being next to him. So I walked into his space and sat on his chair positioned right outside a window facing our corner backyard. I heard my mum make her way into the space and ask me what was wrong unable to answer her I eventually started crying quietly with my headphones in and her hands wrapped around me. In that moment I knew why I was so upset, I heard words say “I can’t even leave the house” “what’s wrong with me?” my mum asked me again what’s wrong? this time with her eyes red and I just sat there and cried hearing “now you’re worrying her for no reason” I cried some more settled down and walked upstairs sitting on the floor with the sunlight beaming inwards. Mum asked me again something must be bothering you, is it a feeling talk to me I’m here for you is it a feeling she asks again. I look at her my eyes ready to cry again and I say “I don’t know, I don’t know. Im fine, I don’t know what’s wrong.” and I tell her it’s okay I’ll be fine for the fifth time, thinking and knowing I just need time to be alone for a while. And then I got hungry, so I went to an all you can eat with Nadren.

Fatma.

Poetry: Melody of being Animate

17.7.19 – Making decisions for the life of you.

I’m thinking its left for interpretation, I’m thinking be assertive this way in other parts of your gratitude, I’m thinking we are human so no one is safe from broken connections, gusto waves that do not serve our highest beings are simply interchangeable, I’m thinking we all have a default, we all come made unknown, how some of us are curious about what closeness is and some of us couldn’t care less, how our values could be so different we are not human enough or merely human though we see the world in colours, taste in numbers, how some of us couldn’t care less about honesty and others care more about their own hearts, how there’s a way about it all, and there is, we are all the courage to be disliked and some are consistent on using words that change their lives, this way is how I also feel the world, the choice is both a conflict and simple state of mind, nothing makes sense or it makes too much sense and the fear to cower is shown into us, of how unknowing has never been so apparent into our homes this harshly first, suddenly the thing about self is that we are all living proof, some of us haven’t awakened our beats and the rest, well, they are dormant, some sleeping along side them touching heads and who are we,- I’m thinking about being locked up in libraries I could read here forever, this small daydream of mine, I am not afraid to brake or disappear one day, I have to accept this will happen with or without my energy well protected, I don’t ever want to stand still stagnant in how my life is lived, I want to remember my life as the protagonist that lived her own nightmares, the girl who battled her mind and chose life instead of existence, I want to be the person I know I am capable of resurrecting she is dragon bodied belly full blue flames and purple magic re-birthed alike, a brave act each time she faces her self she it met with forms of darkness, her life is the constant commitment of unlocking her own downfalls her courage is the fussy ability of turning them into weapons of intuition, she likes the intensity of the pain that comes with this type of healing, most will not see the importance of this healer, she does not shame her scars, it is the will of her that scars her skin this way the most, this is how she keeps the spark in her life, every word, narrative can be flipped she knows this too well,- So that when I die, I can say I have lived a dangerously envious life.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Burning Spring Love. (fell from the sky.) | 15.5.19

hey love, kiss me, tell me you can bring down the sky for me, tell me the stars ain’t nothing compared the way I make you feel like without this love there is no other matched to what I am with you. tell me how you found us, tell me all your hidden secrets, tell me you’ll listen to my silence even when its raining, tell me how much you love spring, the way it leaves us to love harder, how talks like this are the best kind of kink, I remember when you asked me what passion was to you, how you could taste it near my lips, how close we are to sparking these flames, nothing like spring in late November, write me away, use your words, tell your fingers to stop misbehaving next to flames this bright, tell me again how you can not leave my burning spring, how you’re not afraid to lose me, how we ache apart enough to close any lost words, sometimes we may burn buildings and ask the spring to leave, the way you understand how I love, how my hands are the place you feel the safest, how my voice is reason for it all, learn me more of your scars, tell me how you keep that voice, how you love so hard, we are both this way, both melting into each other, you don’t agree with me, we fight about how our voices both hold our love, how they cradle something this inherited, how we wind each other up, how we love to hear our love out loud, there’s nothing more dangerous than love.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

19.3.19

You know I get it, we get so caught up into spaces and sometimes its so easy but so hard, like hopelessness is inside our norm I get it, sometimes its a life, there’s something to be said about time when you feel like these outcomes are not matching up to who you are, who you could be, I’ve been there before, where you feel like there is no space for you, you’re are not allowed to do what you want what you need in order to live up to your own truest self and, we get stuck on mindsets that really know how to break down whole bodies, sometimes breathing is not enough and I always secretly hated being told to breathe in and out for every broken part of my whole, it was never a start for me that way, I wanted to look for quick fixes and that was the first time I learned some of my triggers, they are always changing but I have also learnt to give them time, to reflect often into thoughts, I needed time, my own space, away from home, sometimes I ran away from home because it feels all too familiar, I am not one to ever give up this way too, I had made my choice the times I chose myself over everything that yelled at my body, I am untold fire, I am the secret story, I am the story that is still choosing to be written I am my choices of everything I have created of me, so anytime anything comes at my home and wants to break in I am ready with all my pain and love for always choosing to survive the ways in this life too, you can not break down a door that is safety in numbers, there is no one who can tell me otherwise I won’t even dare you, that would be me putting a knife at your soft spots carefully hidden asking you to have a conversation with the secrets you’ve been running in cryptic circles from your own home first, I know, and this is just the beginning.