Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

31.03.17
Compromise, family

“..into our personal, do we get to choose, or is it a compromise, do we compromise for family, do we choose to trust family or does, our body use its senses who can you, choose to trust if not family, right, I mean, what are the specifics that we like to, mismatch cross word blur the lines compromise, I mean hurt, I mean how long, I mean, do we compromise, should we compromise or, do we believe that there is, balance in this family, I want you to really think about, how much good necessary in the name of compromise for family, then I want you to, look at your reflection, talk to this body, yourself, the way you talk to family, as it questions n answers the way, you, would compromise for family, we give so much to others before we even give to ourselves where are the blank spaces in this, choose to separate words in the name of comfortable, words like family, like love, that we love family, we can, only honestly give what we have experienced when it comes to advice, n even then is that family, or does this not make sense, do we need to do more when it comes to, family love, how much do we compromise when it comes the words we choose to, give meaning to family, n how much we love in order for them, how do you make family understand…”

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Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

30.03.17
Do you see it..(username)

When I feel the strain of how he has my heart, I think, so this is what it really feels like to desire as though your heart could, escape the body, I think this is what it must feel like to, be high, off love, the type to keep you wake, the kind that knows how each, beat, is as tempting as each thought, n how all you can do is dream, daydream about the delicate way their hands, tightly fit into yours, is what it feels like, to recognize heart beats, to sync yourself with its tunes that, its more than a pacing deception but, the, intense allure of both body n mind, the mind, its seduction, flirtation in its most vulnerable confidence, you watch, no temptress here this, is, what it super powers to know about the bodies secrets, how it will never let go, this feeling, must mean it will never leave, the way it thrives to its loyalty, mime the base of loves curves, do you feel it, how it will overwhelm this kind of love, tell me, do you see it now

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

26.03.17 | 30.03.17
Black girls..(beautiful enough..)

“The truth about spring, it is a false delusion, a what you want to see photosynthesis what they, might tell you, that the sky cries too often into our bodies, that too much of its mood fixated to our feelings, understands the potential growth of each flower, rose, lotus, beauty, how it will double rainbow your extraordinary, give mother earth our time, in twin show our love, as more than, what if’s, but it could be, they don’t, tell you the truth about spring, that each season is a cycle of emotion, unsure about its casting, however, shares common traits of compatibility, wisdom, that your story is a forever told, forever being written, there is no end to its day dream, this is a, what you see what you feel educated, kind of hemisphere, rotation is a must, self love is a super power, the truth about spring is that, it is a false disillusioned dreamer, that you can be as you please, they don’t tell you that you’re beautiful enough, black girl, you’re..”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

23.03.17
Anyone that has met loyalties s..(suicide..)

“Open your window, make plans so you aren’t consumed by its dishonesty, you’ll make rush decisions think they make sense then you’ll be met with, realization or distractions whatever feels more comfortable, you’ll catch its meaning, meditate its feeling n think about, what it is that got you here in the first place, what it is that made you feel so strongly about loyalties s, you’ll figure out the perfect day, realize that the more you think about, the more you are wasting time, you’ll get what you need, sometimes this is so irrational its been in preparation so many times, that sometimes there is no preparation, it was the first time when I was 11 that, I had met such an indecisive me, never felt something that resonated so close to my heart, that made me feel its adrenaline to this extent, I was blown away by its commitment, its wasn’t until multiple similarities, years that went on by, when its attempt to commit started fading, not completely gone, but fading, I stand here 22, waiting, to turn 23 n still, fading, starting to realize that this commitment to loyalties s is slowly, fading each time it gets close to commit, there is a rage of rush memories, emotions, happenings that flow too fluidly it catches me, to realize, the dishonest in this commitment, I put the object back into its drawer, turn the lights off n walk away from its, loyalty, realizing..”

Poetry: Melody of being Animate

21.03.17 | 22.03.17
Fail..Failure..(confront this scheme..) (clinical d__ression+anxiety..)

“..I have always known it, never admit it always gave it an excuse, never gave it closer, it kept coming back didn’t know the difference between its narrative n how it affected this body daily, kept so many secrets away from me like it was trying to teach me a lesson that had no malice, clicked its tongue in my name n spoke of how much better it rang, kept telling me you’re not capable of dreaming that far you’re ill, your mind is constantly playing tricks on you, you don’t understand the way this body functions yet, excuse excuses excuses, a daily habit, basis started to take a toll when it got me, never liked the way it always chose to show its teeth before its mutilated words, thought it was so fitting that now it has excuses to its characters, don’t like the way it had claimed a broken leg, the way its thrown healing out of its excuses, its frustrating narrating to yourself every time it scheme’s, mindful about this bodies narrative never its enemies, will always choose to show its teeth doesn’t understand that loyalties s is not a solution its a demise, can it not see its bias, I’m starting to feel old habits, starting to notice them surfacing scared that self help is not enough, unsure about what this all really means for this body, for me now, unsure if I am showing healing enough gratitude, can feel my body braking from the inside, still no answers, no time span, there’s nothing to help me mend its broken for now, Im starting to feel cracks, it had only been three days ago, I stopped feeling its strain not long until I am unable again, can still feel its teeth sharpening each minute, closer each day, the mind is colonized, the heart is held captive to its fear, the body is constantly anxious about its next move, there’s no where to go when you’re trying to out ran your own..”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

21.03.17
I feel sick everywhere…

“..I usually sit with it, wait for the body to re group itself into a somewhat functioning grab my feelings n leave manner, its hard to describe this feeling when its this raw, it feels a lot like the worst possible series of emotions as you drive shards of glasses into the body to help mute the pain, to help silence the unwanted, the confusing, the anger, the compassionate, the sympathetic, the critic, the failure, the unknown, its so easy to eject into this mess, but even harder to eject yourself out of its tight arms, you’ll watch her eyes turn this glaring red as she cries for the unexplained anxiety, her depression is something she can not come to terms with n still refuses to use its correct name, sometimes I am forced to explain to her that its okay that you’re surviving this illness each day, its okay that loyalties s comes n goes, I will always be there to help you guide yourself back to this kin, take my hand n never let go, we are in this together, we have always been in this together, you’re allowed to cry n do nothing, you’re allowed to cry n not know why, to cry n cry some more we all want you to heal, we are all always here with you, for you, you’re never alone I want you to please remember that, we have always been in this together, I know you feel betrayed when you can’t be while you experience opportunities, that you’re forced to feel what you don’t resonate on the outside but what the body wants you to feel, sorry that you have to force your happy, n flaunt this feeling until you feel they don’t feel uncomfortable until they don’t know, seduce their eyes until they stop guessing, trauma has a excruciating way of choosing to visit this body, will give you all its bagged emotion, unreasonable without you opening the door for them they will come uninvited n because you’re not the kind to confront its despair you will allow it to stay n do its damage sometimes longer than it needs then excuse yourself out of its company as you ran out the back door n promise that you’re never coming back, you’ll cry n cry once you realize that you ran away from trauma yet again just when healing has come through your doors to rescue you from trauma’s resilience but by then….”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

20.03.17
Dreaming (what’s new): Sipping water, sipping dreams (Dream Perfect Regime), drink more water (Mick Jenkins), in reference to water as the purest form of the absolute truth (FACT) (self: diagnosis..and you..?)

“..when you need something like you can not live without its hydration, fill up on its truth, drink up all its honesty, n filter out its quality, sipping water, sipping dreams, watch how they conjoin the truth in ourselves, those who fight something so honest in themselves will struggle to find the truth in this poem, drink more water..”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

20.03.17
Grateful resistance…(not the intention..)

Grateful alliance, feed this body, tell remedy that its been hard to come up with this fake love to this illest, its hard to feel love with all this ill, feed this body, give it memories n leave behind the memories that cause traumatic, when you stand up n leave its presence leave its disturbances where you last left off you’ll be able to turn your head back to its sympathy n clear its resistance not its intention, being able to define its concluded alliance it thought was for you is when you’ll be able to analyse its chemical n answer it back with its correct demise, putting at ease to negativity is not as simple as fake love but it is as reliable as you let it, resistance has so many faces, in the end its the intention of its grateful resistance that keeps its burning intention alive

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

19.03.17
Fitting..(dreaming about tomorrow)

I’m happy dreaming, happily fulfilling my dreams is something that was not always there, had been searching for it a long while back, thinking about what it meant to exist with no purpose, how do we fulfill n continue to exist without a purpose, dreaming allows for both, it hands down creativity, self worth in the form of goals, n self love in dreaming reality, when you hear voices that echo n dismiss its magic I want you to remember, they have not yet understood their powers, there is something so beautiful about how unique we all choose to exist with purpose, if you ask dreamers to use the alphabet to convey what it means to dream, they’ll tell you something that goes like this, they’ll be humble n wisdom something like this, be happy with what you have while working for what you want its like a dream, they’ll say to you there is no feeling that can come close to knowing your self worth when you have found solitude in dreaming about what you’re capable of wanting

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

17.03.17
Username : “Can I stay a bit longer..”
Username “..you can stay forever.”
Love sick, love game..(fools)

 

“I couldn’t tell him, if he found out this would be the end of everything we have built together, I don’t want to give up on something that is so clear, something so apparent to the both of us, how can you look love in the eyes n tell them this love doesn’t exist, that their hands aren’t the closest sensation to heavens touch, how, when all you’ve ever known couldn’t measure to have felt this good, I want to tell him the truth, I want to be strong enough to face rejection in their eyes, I won’t stop until I hear their answer, I don’t want to stop even if these feelings consume me alive, we could be capable of loving so hard we are not able to easily forget something that feels this painful, this is what it means to be happy, being in love hurts n at the end of each heart beat there is a passionate abundance of curiosity, being able to make it clear to yourself at the very least about what it feels like to be loved back is intoxicating, being loved is happy, being happy means not sugar coating your feelings it means don’t hold back, unleash your curiosity, you have been keeping it too long..”

“I don’t know what she’s thinking, I can’t just say what I feel, I don’t know how to put it in words, Im scared, why do I always have to be the one that uses my masculinity as a protective narrative layer too scared of what the outcome is, don’t they know this masculinity hurts, I didn’t put it there, these walls built I don’t even know who I am underneath all this bearing, I want to tell her but fear of rejection is something I don’t know how to take, if only she knew, I just, I just don’t know, what’s love when it comes to this beating of heart beats, these tight faucet of breathing, hot sweats she’s perfect I think, I want to know, Im curious to find out if heart beats can take boundless abilities when is comes to the way the heart expresses its toughest narrations, being loved is happy, being happy means not sugar coating your feelings it means don’t hold back, unleash your feelings, you have been keeping them too long..”