Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Energetic conversations. | 30/9/20

Variations on love, I forgot about you one time, this was the most difficult way I learnt the care in loving you, they mention that distance knows no love not felt, in my Solus about you I filled it with so much silence because I wanted to, we show our chaos shambles of understanding each others efforts, we separate to heal our own inflicted wounds, we caused our pain, this love, because we chose not to believe in its healing, we grew the distance between us some more, do we admit we are as it be until we are as messed up as love — for love, when pain flowers love it becomes a sole garden without knowing bodies binding our hearts, blinded, we do not want to see that this too harbors love powerless — instinctively, we think to admit do our lovers ever really morn moaning our name under their breath to preserve us or let us go, when we settle with our heart we imagine who died in us first was it you or love, the innocence is the best lie about love as an old soul, the flowing magic of being human into love is probably the most honest way to begin to admit to love in the first place (don’t you agree love…)-. We remember words so much our acute eye for actions is almost to a fault — love loves logically and love loves emotionally, actions and words alert the body to love yourself everyday at 5 to 5, divinity asks, does looking for love when you are looking for love count as love, or are we just starved for its tastes, why must we always question affection this way, have we learnt nothing to impact without the lesson, the teaching of our pride will be our greatest revolution, our succumbing to our souls trusting our intuition will be our ultimate test into self love separated yet again, our understanding of love must come from here-. My child, it never really goes away does it? The love always finds a way to restore its self from inside of you, there is no one dumber nor smarter than a being in love, be observant of how you stream through screaming walks of life, I think the pain I feel when I explain liars in my mist is the same as a heart break, find her they’ll say, tell all the guards she is grounded from her heart the only love she is allowed to have is her own until she has broken here her own heart, a joker, the punch line was you not love, a joker, should I just also do nothing and wait, I mean won’t you tell me where is this downfall, here waiting or doing nothing, I did not know this is also love, point taken shuffling the notes realizing they were scrambled to mean a gift you give yourself, talking out loud in your head or in real time is strange but not as uncommon as you think it to actually be, don’t raise your voice at your heart, your mind has been watching you play out this sorry attempt to prove normalcy it is beyond you-. I have found out another buried secret, that I am always miffed at love, I will never always know it’s secrets to the hold it has on lovers, sitting here thinking I am spent at myself, — shocker you’re in love, yet again, what is different this millennia.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

332 333 pm let her go, it’s okay. You’re more than ready now. | 30/8/20

Life here, — has been droll, I am breaking down identity, shuttering it’s prideful benevolence has become fun, I feel beside myself with fearless humble, trying to see where it fits into my character here, the moments of pure joy in my childhood are spent with my siblings my heart learns to center around these moments like metaphors and real that rhyme with all that’s right here in these memories with moments such as these and real, a lifetime I will hold dear a love I am in tears about I have so much to be grateful when I sit by my window watching the swinging trees rippen about to bloom in the month of Spring-, as an adult, you start to wonder more and more into experiences passed, ask your body, search for the point outside you how this shipped your perception of what it means being a human living in the now human experience, you get undying about understanding how life plays you, fool upside down tower and real, you start to look at everything you have ever thought to have known remarkably enlightened, a bitter sweet fruit that has learned to bare it’s roots nourishing your sharpened mind, giving much need water to your loving heart, when you find yourself making footsteps to your bed closing the door behind you wondering how much of the past you have left behind along with that sign like a sword above your door a protector of compassionate beings, they might never understand your loyalty and you will tell them yes, how can you when all you choose to focus on is the passion without the knowing of its love — you think about the things within in you that bring forth absolute sun that come sole from you, remember how it felt to be happy here, that feelings consume time when you realize you have been doubting worth of worthy so long you fooled yourself into a form spoken for without your cat suit on, you have outlived that body, step into your mind, smile with your heart and open your crown to your bodies rewarding capabilities, dream your dream, open and close your eyes, see your dream come to life with your hands, show your younger self all her hard work too began from her expression of expansion, that you will never forget her gift to you, all the nights she over shared with you was her cup overflowing with spring water, so much love just so you could see her one last time and learn to let her go, she was begging from the very beginning to be seen by you, when kin thought you to be trouble you cried about the tares you gave yourself here, when all you wanted was to be seen.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

I’m surviving your(self). | 22/9/20

I fear I am losing my touch into my world, being here has made it difficult to reconnect with my whole chosen family, I feel slightly lost light-headed from the sleepless nights of dreaming of my way back home, the places I have found are here but I can not go, I feel trapped inside a space that held a different meaning I am having trouble deciphering its coding, all it’s pent up questions are slowly taking the magic that runs through my blood, how I talk in language that is only familiar to mine is fading, I am falling, I am starting to revisit old memories seeing my younger self she is restless as am I, I am losing my compassion my words they leave my mouth but they are not mine they do not feel like mine, this is not me I am not who you see right now, who you hear speaking, I am writing this note to see who I am again, the past is following me like a ghost, she is attacking my mind and leaving my heart tethered, she is weakening our power creating sinister clouds in our vision I am doing whatever I can to keep us safe before she loses her resolve, come back quick it doesn’t have to be this way, you do not run at the site of change you challenge it’s compromise, we form a bigger greatness, you know about the wait you understand the patience but you can not bare the beating it leaves your body, you have never been good with the scares I know, it’s okay to be afraid of ourselves once in a while, we know for you it can keep you going, your state of mind is something you will always have to bring yourself back from but it will never be who you are, open your vision in the center of your lifes mission, do not only see with your heart when you are a formidable being that sees with pure emotion a most challenging ability to keep safe and untainted from a world swarming with unpleasant corrupt intent of intentions this type of healing keepsake will never hold you back from your own intuition instead learn to keep you safe when coexisting becomes the necessity-. It will not always have to be like this, a promise you bind with your inner belief.

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Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Do you have soul. | 8.9.20

I have had it with all the silence around my memories jagged and mismatched remembering nights that left cold hearts unwavering, there has been a life lost here, when you shed yourself you’re pathing a purging of panicked bodies and heated souls, the emblem you carry here will show you vivid events about yourself that have bled to bless the surface world, it is never faint to calm your own demons when they are learning to breath here too, when we are learning to harmonize each other the collateral pieces of our identity past, present and future flying around us it is not easy to watch yourself break tirelessly the impact it leaves on the purest of hearts can be forced to damage the most careful of minds, still, — we are seeds humbled by softness, finding your soul in a soulless world occupied by bodies that do not know how to stand strong in their bright power is enough to make an eager soul claim a pain that can be felt from the souls of the feet to the crown of heads, as if humility and humor were to dabble meanings, loosing to love is about as funny as looking at a dead garden striped of it’s blossom and surviving just to breathe-, when did loving less becoming something to laugh bravely about, when you are lucky enough to meet a being bruised by love your voice emanating generosity will find its way full to one’s heart able to ease and use compassion with one’s mind, we do not take the goodness of this honeyed planet and turn it to sticks and stones, — we can all laugh about it when there is no humility present to hold us determined to our own outcast of ourselves, when blame has shifted it does not stop it’s next karma, how dear do you hold love, how much do you swear to protect love in laughing pessimists of the humility held into world’s present and apart, when does one stop to smell the flowers it has watched to witness a rebirth of the true power of love by gleaming it’s treasured hue having perspective in faith, a hopeful love is a lover in a moments memory of it’s past, present and future of love-. One does not know no bounds to mishandled bodies taught to taunt love even when it is sure love has taught more than it cares to admit, when we are humbled, perspective favors optimism in bodies rightfully thought to be held back by lessons that needed their attention to vine with faith restored into their playful hearts and beautiful minds. It was never about carelessness, it was about the company it invited to over stay it’s welcome.