Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

26.01.17 | Unconditional

I like how your voice makes me feel
The way it softly tells me I love you

I like the way you kiss
There’s no other way to say it, I love your kisses

I like the way you love
Unconditional, no limits, daring, fearless

I like your eyes
The way they gaze at passion, the way they soften when your voice says my name

I like your imperfect
There will be times where I can’t stand the way you say how you feel even when you’re angry, you don’t mean them, I know you don’t

I like your perfect
The will be times where you will tell me exactly how you feel, n I’ll take your hand shimmy closer to love n show you how honest I really can be

I love you
There will be times when others may not understand how we love, we don’t need affirmation, though I almost feel narcissistic, I want to be the only one who knows what it means for love to be jealous of you

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

25.01.17 | Magic Trick (#alternativefacts)

Magic trick one, watch how I make communication disappear when relevant, watch how I give you back your ego n take back all my honesty

Magic trick two, watch how you trump lies n call them facts, watch how you give alternative facts n call them honest

Magic trick three, ghost back into this kind of love you carelessly lost n expect it all back, no

Magic trick four, take my hand, I’ll share with you broken hearts, myself n happy to your sugar cane

Magic trick five, watch how quickly I make oceans jealous

Magic trick six, give alternative facts to logic, emotion, personal, love they know the difference, you can’t fool them too

Last trick, don’t apologies when you have already told the heart that you don’t need it anymore, don’t tell the mind all the love I said to you was just out of habit, don’t tell this body that you didn’t feel its love, that there was nothing, all this time, all this bodies effort was all for nothing, that this body is nothing

All this time

Slow pulse, I can feel my heart where it last stopped beating

Somewhere between lies n you are nothing

When it hurts let me know, I cared about the way you made me feel, I cared about you, I showed you why, told you how, n gave you the best parts of myself first before you could even reach the sweetest

Because I know too well about what happens to girls who become this victim to fragile once they know where love ghosts

#AlternativeFacts

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

23.01.17 | 24.01.17 | MELANIN (ROYALTY)

It feels a lot like resurrection of emotion, as I attempt to narrate the way this skin melanates

I wanted to write this gratitude to melanin, n how much appreciation n courage it has given me as woman, person of colour going through her own mental battles to fully comprehend the beauty in all its royalty

The first thing that prompts, is love

When I speak of melanin n love in the same sentence I want to illuminate that this is not a mistake

It is simply the truth, nothing less

Everything more

You may have thought that I would have told you more profound

However, the way this narrative has chosen to shine, it doesn’t want to complicate its own nobility

Although is does want to show you exactly what it means when melanin is being praised in this excellence

It goes something like this

Many people will try n slander what they do not have, when you cross paths with this kind of unpleasant let the sun illuminate your melanin, so they can see what kind of beauty teases the largest star in the sky

Even when you’re feeling it all too much, remember

Love is not something that can be found so easily, find it in yourself first so you’re able to teach back its consolations

As you learn n grow from all the discomfort you’ll realise the resilience in your culture, that you have noble history strum into this melanin, that you have hero with your melanin

Not only does your complexion stay popping through out the summer, you’ll bask in the warmth of the sun n watch how it catches your natural highlight, beam its rays where it’ll catch royalty’s glow

Indefinable sheen, allow them to stare, they may have not seen black in its royal caliber

Never take off your crowns, with this skin comes great royalty of those who choose to bask in its glorified image, royalty isn’t meant for those who are not loyal to its full experience

Melanin isn’t there for the taking, you have to be born with its popping royal ambiance

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

24.01.17 | INSOMNIA (BREATHE)

Its 2:40 in the morning n my mind is left feeling anxiety from has beens, my body is trying to shake off the feeling how panic attacks, do you remember, while my eyes cry for its release, I can’t sleep

Im thinking about my relationship with her n how today is not going to be good, yesterday, she wasn’t too happy about me

In my mind Im contemplating leaving this all too familiar for anywhere, away, take this life away, anxiety has this rush way of making everything seem so logical, my emotions are flooding too fast I can’t keep track of all its demands

Im thinking about this one person waiting for them to come back, not being able to know they aren’t in the same air I breathe is making me physically unstable, Im consumed by their presence in past tence as I a wait their return, its frustrating to breathe

I’ve been tiering this body on purpose n I’m starting to feel defeat

Starting to feel irritated at myself, blaming this body for all the wrong it has robbed me, telling my mind it doesn’t have any business disrupting routine, all the good I have gathered to fall back all because I challenged, all because remerdy said 2 months n you told me that’s impossible, said that you won’t last that long without remerdy

Remebering that I still have my medication ready

Resisting the urge to check if my mediaction is still there, that it hasn’t expiered, that if it has I don’t have the money, that I am not stable enough without it

I’m scared, I can tell my body is scared it won’t stop crying

It won’t stop the conflict it has with the mind, Im left feeling both their pain

Its a blur of emotional n the day hasn’t even began

I can’t sleep, I want to breathe the same air

My body won’t stop until we’re breathing the same air

Poem: Melody of Being Animate

23.01.17 | LOVER

 

I like writing about love

I seem to like writing about alot of this I wish I had, I wish I knew, I want to learn about what it means to have someone who is the apitimy of dream, smile, compassion, secrets, imperfection, somone who inspiers

I want to know what it means for love to be jealous of you

I knew love once

When identity ate me up from the inside n the only way I knew how to say I love you was through my tears, it was the only way he understood how much I cared for him, he made me feel beautiful even when I didn’t know it

He made sure I never forgot, everyday

Poem: Melody of Being Animate

23.01.17 | WOMAN

You know its funny, when I look at the injustice manifesting in our daily to folk who are fighting for all types of what is wrong in this life, its hard to be this silent

When I speak about this Im reaching out n recognising those in minority who feel that they don’t have a voice, those who are still left feeling it all too often

Just yesterday I had to witness three black boys treated with this abrupt condisending tone, made them feel the way the mainstream media tell you to think, I had to watch the way the same white man that let a white boy n girl off for the exact same situation that had previsouly just happened, I had to watch him smile, tell them its fine n wave his hand in the air as if to say its okay just go through, it was infurarting, hypercrietes don’t know how until they are called out on their unlawfull, I was so out radged although scared to say anything feeling that my opinion to what had just happened may have not been in my favour

As a poc, I felt both gulit n somewhat intimidated

It was’t until I thought about what had happened in the perspective of both compassion n humility, that guilt had began to manifest more than the fear of speaking up

When we witness these kinds of things its really difficaut as a poc to speak out without having to be directly involved, this is fact

Pause

There was a white woman reading this, seated beside me, as I wrote about injustice in this kind of raw narrative, I also watched her stand up as she caught the corner of my eyes n watched her leave her seat to sit in the fresh humid air outside

Rewind

Play

Yesterday women men, n poeple marched for something they disputed against n I couldn’t help but feel empowered, I couldn’t help but allow hope to fill the air around me, reminding me humanity was teaching humanity what it means to come together n unit against this kind of segregation in mascaraides of injustice

When you’re met with bigotry, reasons why, n close minded remember as women we birthed this nation, n that is power

As women we are powerful, never forget you can give n take away life, that is power in its highest form don’t ever forget this

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

17.12.16 | 18.12.16 | 10.01.17 | 11.01.17
There is Beauty in this Mental Health

Despite the mood changes n how irritable you get when you find it hard to exist, you’re a creative thinker with this unhealthy, you cross all the boundaries dare call yourself hero, you’re surviving your mind each day
Some would call you hero, watch their narrative as they repeat how do you do it, n you respond
I have this gift, it teaches me about self n how to ask for help, it teaches me intuitive innovation when it comes to quick fix this emotional, it reminds me the importance of the crisp air right after the sky has finished crying for all my disabilities, takes me by my insecurities n blesses me with wings big enough to take off

Sometimes I am reminded too often that with this type of hero comes listless self awareness, that with great knowledge comes great resilience

There is so much beauty in your mental health, if you can not find your powers yet don’t worry, I promise you it will find you
Berried so deep into battle with the mind your body doesn’t know how powerful you can be despite broken metaphors, puns used at its own convince, watch how you give it comfortable when it comes to inheritance of this kind control, watch you hero, as you overcome the mind games, correspond with infinite healing powers
Sometimes you’re more than hero
You’re the extraordinary being that is braking down your very own barriers, allowing yourself to grow n heal at the same time
This is my super power