Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

12.10.17 | Incapable of honesty

you know, I look at love and I see where their trying to come from, I see their scars right through their words, there’s this vulnerable intimacy just for a moment and they are able to tell the truth, I’ve noticed it a few times, how love likes to take hearts and hold onto them so that they can use it when necessary, I’ve seen it so many times, I’ve felt how they speak about themselves and such narrative is the kind that cuts through skin, the best kind, the honest type, then they use that same narrative to dip yours and their body in poison, how often they lie and think you do not notice don’t remember that you’re both human and instinct, despite this you also allow them to take over this body sometimes because it feels like a different world when skin and kisses are touched in a kind of way, they are just the right amount of dishonest still, they forget that you have done this before, we all know our worth is as much as our truth, so when we lie we can not expect the truth, when we tell the truth we can not always expect the truth back this, is how you also loose love, you’ll fall out of love vigorously, they don’t understand the unpredictable reality such is too much, and you, you like to take others words and ponder their actions, match the words see the way they lied in front of this honest body to them not malaise, a massacre of torn up recycled truth to them just words, and you, you can’t help but laugh now, because again, this has happened too many times, you’ve seen what it means to love a lie, when you’re not ready for its kind of intensity, when you have watched passion in eyes that wreck with false narrative and actions in case you liked hearing lies you’ll witness what it means when the hearts brakes into two even halves, feel it ache throughout the body that had been taken for a fool, think not much of it, it is a gentle intense reminder of worth in feeling, if you were the honest one you will not regret a moment of your words, to know that you were honest with this kind of body is to love harder and know how to love back, this, is so important.

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Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

5.10.17
flowers..meaning hope

“Watch this season change, this air has a way about its feel,there’s something so captivating about watching the spring, even the rain has a different chime, a voice so sweet in tune with her melody of being animate, how it overwhelms and beautifully whispers its secrets to the rain, without missing a sound only to notice it raining down on her, this is her birth, her other lover is to watch the colours turn into her favorite kinds of adorn, her will is just as commanding, much more fearless than usual, come, a hidden secret that vines her body, listen well, her mental health isn’t so apparent this season, a well kept secret the way the rain loves her back is untouchable, the mind will come to understand that its moments like these that she breathes, she is all types of care free bliss, only this season can give her flowers.” _hope

Poetry: Melody of being Animate

28.8.17

And I still fall in love too easy, try to convince my shadow that this isn’t what it is, say to it that maybe we shouldn’t, can’t you see the heart has already been through so much, when I can’t stop thinking about the way someone makes me feel, there’s no stopping its unsolicited devotion, I sit with the longing until my shadow believes me and even then, the mind is still not swayed, its so easy for my heart to fall in love, when it believes your truth, can’t see how hard it beats at notions, so sweet, the way he hides how he feels, how he asks about my day, the heart likes to know how much you’ve missed it, will tease a feeling to test its loyalty, convince that unsolicited with passionate purpose and tell the mind see, you’re just over thinking it.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

23.7.17 | Self belief now…

Can you imagine if someone told you all you have to do in life is create yourself, learn to grow from the things that we are told are so taboo that they aren’t true, imagine, if all we had to do was love, nurture such care strum its vision into our dreams and god told you all you have to do is create, that its possible to believe in yourself and have an illness that isn’t visible to the naked eye, would you believe it, if I told you that you get an untouched day everyday, that this kind of warmth comes from you, what if I told you that when characters tells you you’re sparks for motive and its these kinds of words that make it worth it, like you’re doing magic with your bare hands, has the strongest ability to change self belief, interactions that are the sweetest compliments a form of your own motivation and self belief there really is nothing like it, make another light and your own by believing in yourself first.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

22.8.17 | 23.8.17
Rain.

They say that human beings can’t live on their own, better to have real solitude so it doesn’t matter if Im there or not, said, you’re just afraid from abandonment, you’ve distanced yourself from a lot of things, the real things, rain, the way we love is a comfort to both lover and me, rain, how much it takes away the pain when lover is gleams of the star light and moon light dust rain, that this abyss of existence is slowly eating away at this body, wanting to get lost in its dream it is not afraid, has known too many black holes that have not been seen in the same hope, much like a bitter sweet boy, like how his words are so sweet he forgets that he has to match them words silly, when he tells you wishes like we belong together smile at him and tell him you do not belong to anybody but this one, rain, how I could let this goddess planet cry for every time I have not been brave enough to feel this bodies blues, too afraid of being called broken, scared, that this mental state could be a living thing, is it not stuck to this body enough, maybe, how it knows not to give up like this body does, rain, when I heard my first suicide poem I watched it so many times I replayed the whole 3 minutes in my mind, closed my eyes and become submerged with words that leapt out of their mouths and into mine, my being a resurrection, rain, for every time I look at my older sister, my baby sister and baby brother, rain, when I learn that parents are human too, rain, when I learn that I am human too, can’t see this magic hidden in a broken mirror shards that bleed at the attempting of picking up my pieces, hold them up against the sun light between dreamers and careful words, among friendships and that boy, rain, because you’re allowed to feel and nobody can take that away from such compassion that has been berried for self, keep it safe don’t get lost in its downpour, breathe in this fresh air, open your eyes and see it for all its chaos, give it permission, rain.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

18.8.17 | Kind

Been rationally drowning self in understanding how it is you love someone and whether words that learn how to cut tongues and bind itself to narrative that live in the masquerades of awkward glances, side way smiles and pretty words, how we, are watching love move, and dip its self first, is this really love at all, capable of taking such an intensity by what you seek rather than what you see, I mean, if we really think about what it means to love someone beneath the surface of what is in our horizon and feel, one of the unambiguous confessions left honestly is what we seek, I’m not repeating about the way we configure tangibles and intangibles, I’m begging what varies, the in between instances where when we make a decision without a seconds thought, immediately play a mental monologue of what we think we saw in love, and there, caught in the gloss memoirs of what we seeked to begin with, in them, holding onto hidden between silver measures of their imperfections, reminding them and ourselves of how fragile we can all be, the human heart beating at each attempt, always, do we really know love at all, what Im really trying to say is a friend once told me, don’t be in a rush, and I remember looking at her and thinking, those are words I have memorized for myself before.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

18.8.17 | Care

The introverted mind, a consolation of masses that are too much to even ponder and what it really means when you’re watching the grey sky from inside of your bedroom window, a mental hereon of an illness that leaves you feeling the breeze from inside the body and learning to care about yourself even if its narcissistic, I’ve come to learn that even with all the pondering done there’s not much room left for taking a break, even so, there is a huge appreciation for silence which most would find softly uncomfortable, but when you’re this invested uncomfortable learns to settle into a kind of body and politely it becomes a survival thing, when you spend this much time with the mind and this kind body you pick up on care that is much deeper than what you may have previously composed, you also don’t like picking up phone calls, so often we forget that its okay to be our selves, its hard to remind a kind of existence that only knows what its been told is okay, and the way we unconsciously allow something that is not greater than us to set our kind of normal being, still, it is not our fault, need to learn ourselves to be kind to our own, and never be submissive or kind to a system that is not kind to you, said that we don’t have to be so strong all the time we don’t have to hide so much of ourselves just to please a temporary feeling, a temporary person, we’re always allowed to feel as valid as someone we love, because if it were them, this strange, you would be softer, kinder, and you would love them harder.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

6.8.17

A simulation of what I have gathered the blurred lines it means to be a kind of existence that can see through you and not myself, one, my hands are the oasis of both unknown and sink your teeth into this kind of stream, I have to welcome you first, don’t misread my words, don’t think them too deep I am not one to play with such kind of narrative, two, kink, need I say more, both the imagination and for you to give such words like cake, like red room, like how long can you keep this kind of secret, three, watch how you move, I have mastered the art of caring and not knowing to care too much, I will sugar cane and indulge you in ways the mind and this world may not let you kiss away norm’s the way we like to think we are all normal, four, you can either call this body beautiful, or you can watch this body be, beautiful, this is usually where they get confused, five, can you feel it, the way I touch a heart that knows how to not show too much, will say how they mirror you but you’re just watching how they speak, how they speak in motion to how they match their mouth is to walk, most important thing for everyone to realize is that for any person to see, we are all existence of awareness to what we feel, so if you feel heartbeats too much, watch the mind and body, if you feel the mind too much, watch the body and heart, if you feel the body too much, watch the heart and the mind, this, is how self-care and love playfully intertwine.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

4.8.17
from dusk to dawn

I just wanna be with you right now, when I move this slow I can see the stars come through my room, its like a flame not a light, nothing too soft something like burn like desire like you’re my desire, like so quick, like can you see how fast this feeling catches on to things, people, like things and people, like, since when did people become possession , like who is your possession , no one, this feeling has flamed out and sparked a different kind of light, its not always that bright this clear to see, in the night sky, the night sky, I tell myself its going to be okay, there have been days where I have watched the sun disappear into the abyss of the night forgetting to eat, I have to remind myself to eat, my body doesn’t want to understand this heightened sense of sensitivity, doesn’t like that being this unstable to anxiety is leaving this body wasted into nothing, looking at opportunities has become a burden, unsure of how long this kind of illness can exist, cease to been felt this much, how you smile at kin when they ask if you’re okay, when they ask about that job, one shift, 4 hours no sleep, what happened, and you tell them, you don’t like the way human beings have learnt to bury their belief of you in them, how tight it is to breathe such an invisible noose, under these stresses, mass anxiety is a build up of a house on fire, your body is lit up from all the judge, only to blow smoke in their face you don’t remember thinking yourself so much worth, don’t remember giving yourself in their safe keeping in their palms closed, four corners with no exit what else did they expect when you watch the words judge, you, others leave their mouth is when you watch their body deflate and swear you could almost make out the words rested in the creases of their face you didn’t ask for this, you didn’t see this kind of opportunity coming, you didn’t know how else to break down but you were not going to allow all this hard work around so much love for an illness that is not ready for this world how he, was so careless to pain that can not be seen, don’t know the intensity of words protested, this world is not ready to aid this kind of illness, still learning about its malaise and all you can do is smile and take care of this body learn, it to heal even when they see you as weak, as give up, you’re a silenced savior to your own body, this kind of hero would be too much for them, they are not ready for you yet.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

2.8.17
Save

I have this really overwhelming feeling that’s doing what it does best when anxiety starts to hit it can only watch and position to catch this kind of stardust, so many times has it been this much only to forget how much it has been save, been hero, forgot too often about its wings, forgot too often about god, see the word forgive in your eyes, this body, this body forgives the mind, not unwanted anymore only heal, late night no sleep, woke mind eased at the attempts of sister sister, calling out her name like all this air, surrounding self with all this feeling could choke on such intensity doesn’t understand that this is too much for me to handle sometimes, and remedy, remedy isn’t here sometimes, I want to be caught by love, I want love to want to catch me, call out my name and cling to the curves on this body, to want this body a blessing come from god to me, from me to you, you’re a blessing in love-, I am afraid of what it means to love a healing body that knows her truth, with the fabled mind that only knows how well it tricks, and a heart weak at love, words that are too beautiful for this world can’t see the lines in between, so sweet the taste is what I imagine it to taste nothing like, still, waiting on words that have motion that come correct with a kind of body that knows not to take a true self for granted, soon, I am whispered, in soon.