Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

28.5.17 – 29.5.17
Note to self: love can lie

Note to self, doesn’t care, only hears voices that speak with dipped in poison split tongues, you were warned, by body, eyes, narration marathons in the form of false actions, disillusioned, told you to watch out for mishaps in the blank spaces that don’t match motion, too loud, what we’re you looking at, looking for, imagine the strength is has taken for body to watch the heart break at so many double edged knifes, the body spoke with shards of glass tip pointed to the heart wept and called the heart a coward for not letting go of what will hurt this body reminding the heart that it beats to unseen too often blurred lines and broken truths, weak, the body begged to not be taken for granted too harshly, that you’re both soft and honest and that is the perfect bate for sharks that swim this close to the shore, you’re to choose you, never forget that praying for the hearts guidance in both compassion and care the body is both heal and hero, don’t know no in between catharsis this is strength that has been learnt and undone from unlearning masks before it allows them to be seen of too soft, pretty first

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Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Give me time, I will carefully give concluded mental diagnosis of not only myself but try n give the ways in which this mind operates, I’ll show you how quickly you can, turn noose into faucet that is, designed in your own identity, break free of these connecting feelings n watch how quickly your mind has chosen to befriend its own shadow, the stigma behind this healing is that its always going to show you its teeth, it feels like there is no escape when your mind is in constant battle with reality, its never easy to ease its reality back to sane, its not okay that we push aside moods in order to get on with reality, sometimes these good deeds do not go unpunished, this healing resonates the feeling of demise quicker that it can manifest healing, on most days it feels like mute, like don’t tell anyone, like don’t speak, like, you’re not worthy, like, worthy had anything it owed you anyway, given this state, given this healing, these words don’t understand their caution, its unwittingly exhausting listening to this mind as your body sits in silence, don’t move.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Mood: “…prompt, probe at this like it was an infectious demise, unsure unsteady, hearts beats, his heart beat matched to your mood, his super power, not easily seen very, confused, mislead, calculated I want, their heart beat, can only give what is in my bodies gauge, I am not allowed to give more than this body has demanded, mood, love lies, sometimes, at ease, health fix, health, mental, mentality, heart beats, he doesn’t know how capable of you yet, willing to give your heart beat to show how much you care, his words are sweet perfection in this body, playful remedy to this mind, I want him.”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Lost and found, a lot of this mind’s confusion infectious dwell n this is not who I am, since when did you wake to believe what you have for yourself, understand that you can win, don’t like to get caught up in its noose, you can’t escape so easily anymore, we can’t go chasing people n expect them to fill this constant void, a missing identity, its been a while its been, months, reminded me about all the low turns that they, are better, survival is what life feels like n jagged edges accompany inevitably, wondering why I expect other’s who fill my love n, overflow this body with love that, they are all reason for this body, that without their existence self love is non existent, why do I greed their compassion to rescue me so much it, makes me question what self love means, n I’m I able to, attain its demeanor, precluded my own misconception of self loves bound only to rely solely on their body, their affection, to teach me, n not my own.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

17.04.17

Innocence: “..not weak, submissive shy, kind n gentle, all this, n much more, I miss the days where I could hear carefree whispered into the winter breeze, when spring bloomed with hope, sharing all our secrets to mother earth n, choosing to indulge ourselves in her beauty, I missed this, I missed being able to not give so much thought to dreams, enough to give it pardon free it’s possibilities n, not be scared of its what if’s wanted to be, the one who proves that dreams are worth never letting go that, when you feel defeated by it’s impossible alure this is, why its important to illustrate why you dream in the first place, being a dreamer n having a dream are two different innocences, dreamers are forever mesmerized by reason, for reaching the sky n, asking why the stars they see shine so bright, it’s finding answers when you have been told impossible, dream is, as simple as what you want it to be, I miss the days we talked about how fast we could glimce innocence in truth, rather bind to its opposite trait, not enough innocence, there’s, too much malice that fumbles without our own optimism, it blinding, catch this meditation, n…”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

16.04.17 | 17.04.17

Struggling with reality: “..being forced to come to terms with being grown has a lot of constraints to its noose, they aren’t always the black jacks that fill your conciouness with clarity, with truth, being forced to realise that even though you yourself as a being have to choose some demise in order to grow, in order to change, back home, you’re selflove, you can only realise what reality you have as you watch it disappear before you desperately reach out your hands fast enough to catch its pace n allow it, watch it shatter into micro shooting stars, the way commanding wish to a content struggling reality, is it a combination of your worst fears, emotions, rainbows to fill in this mood, this grow, how do you grow without struggling in reality, pain manefests n changes people more than we would like to admit, it resonates penetrating so deep into our stream of consciousness until it awakes, until we’re comfortable with change, until…”

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

12.03.17
Depression, is an illness, not a weakness

Forgive me, sometimes Im not sure where to begin when it comes to understanding the way this works, I have given you so much of myself yet it doesn’t seem enough, is it really that hard to understand something that has been with you for this long, do you remember the feeling of how it felt when these souls left the body, are we on the same weakness forgive me, illness, this isn’t a cry for help, its an affirmation of this n so much more, its a resolution to this demise, at ease of this body, care to explain where this is all coming from, not understating the melody to its tunes, the lyrics to its song, but do you remember the beats, a meditation that is as distracting as this weakness, sorry, forgive me, illness sometimes I get the two confused, see, when you have been this weak, sorry, ill its hard to separate these two words from their conjoined sympathy, breathe, trigger words sound a lot like self care when it comes to the beat of this heart, the rhythm of this body to this mind the two souls its song been sang long before they knew its demise, memorize its lyrics to the right kind of melody, this song sings its anthem like it was the last calling for its demise, demise is another word for interchangeable, easily consumed, digest its ugly n regurgitate back its unwanted, this is self care in its purest form, pretty has always seen this ugly to allow this pretty, they won’t understand your narrative, if they they knew what ills, how it ills this mind this long, this whole time, they’ll call you mad, mental, won’t understand the way it has formed you into this beauty, catastrophically beautiful, the ones you can’t see just from looking, depression has this horrible way of teaching this body about its self in the most gut wrenching behavior, will never tell you what it is up to, likes surprises more than it can ever care to admit, n you have to choose to sit with its disrespectful beautiful until you fully become capable of what each miner unpleasant meant, comprehend its emotion, rearrange its narrative so there are no clear bias’s, n once again sit, n sit, with its uncomfortable until it passes, depression has a beautiful way of teaching this body about self, it manipulates the bad to be your shield n the good to be your conscious decision to always choose its demise, depression is an illness, it is never a weakness

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

21.02.17 | no title (you get to choose)

If we changed the way we looked at fate, destiny, n all the carefree that we choose to blindly accept as expected why do we bother trying, this life isn’t fate, destiny, it is not intangible, imperfectly lost does not mean you should settle for fate or destiny, or any class of mystery, you’re capable of setting your own goals, you’re capable of becoming your own future, you don’t need to settle for charm that is intangible in case it is what is expected, you have a purpose n you’re lucky enough to get to choose what your ambitions are, don’t leave it up to something that is not in your control, a perfect example of this is each day I am constantly silently battling my own mind, my own body, I find solutions each day to combat, it has taken me time to accept that despite this isn’t a physical struggle it simply does not mean this is not real for me, n since then I have not looked back, I am not perfect nobody is, n as soon as you realize that everybody in this life time is finding their own, the sooner you will understand why, there is no better feeling then setting goals n getting closer to them regardless of how long it takes, don’t be fooled by others sugar cane so easily.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

26.01.17 | Unconditional

I like how your voice makes me feel
The way it softly tells me I love you

I like the way you kiss
There’s no other way to say it, I love your kisses

I like the way you love
Unconditional, no limits, daring, fearless

I like your eyes
The way they gaze at passion, the way they soften when your voice says my name

I like your imperfect
There will be times where I can’t stand the way you say how you feel even when you’re angry, you don’t mean them, I know you don’t

I like your perfect
The will be times where you will tell me exactly how you feel, n I’ll take your hand shimmy closer to love n show you how honest I really can be

I love you
There will be times when others may not understand how we love, we don’t need affirmation, though I almost feel narcissistic, I want to be the only one who knows what it means for love to be jealous of you

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

23.01.17 | 24.01.17 | MELANIN (ROYALTY)

It feels a lot like resurrection of emotion, as I attempt to narrate the way this skin melanates

I wanted to write this gratitude to melanin, n how much appreciation n courage it has given me as woman, person of colour going through her own mental battles to fully comprehend the beauty in all its royalty

The first thing that prompts, is love

When I speak of melanin n love in the same sentence I want to illuminate that this is not a mistake

It is simply the truth, nothing less

Everything more

You may have thought that I would have told you more profound

However, the way this narrative has chosen to shine, it doesn’t want to complicate its own nobility

Although is does want to show you exactly what it means when melanin is being praised in this excellence

It goes something like this

Many people will try n slander what they do not have, when you cross paths with this kind of unpleasant let the sun illuminate your melanin, so they can see what kind of beauty teases the largest star in the sky

Even when you’re feeling it all too much, remember

Love is not something that can be found so easily, find it in yourself first so you’re able to teach back its consolations

As you learn n grow from all the discomfort you’ll realise the resilience in your culture, that you have noble history strum into this melanin, that you have hero with your melanin

Not only does your complexion stay popping through out the summer, you’ll bask in the warmth of the sun n watch how it catches your natural highlight, beam its rays where it’ll catch royalty’s glow

Indefinable sheen, allow them to stare, they may have not seen black in its royal caliber

Never take off your crowns, with this skin comes great royalty of those who choose to bask in its glorified image, royalty isn’t meant for those who are not loyal to its full experience

Melanin isn’t there for the taking, you have to be born with its popping royal ambiance