Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

Ocean24 | 21.02.2024

My mind is racing and I am hearing what it looks like for eyes to begin to flood his office, I see the way he looks at my pacing hands I wonder if he can see my thoughts, I shake it off and answer his question, then he asks me about my life, asking how I like it breathing here, I tell him alive, I look into his eyes and ask him about my life he shrugs and asks my mind to stop calling for its name, to ask for help in ways he does not want to hear me speak, he wraps my mouth with what has been told to him even though he knows nothing about my mind he tells me to stop complaining, said am I always this impulsive about my environment I tell him yes, asked do you always just get up and leave I say yes, he asked me if I was anxious, as though he could see me avoiding his eyes because they lied to me as soon as I stepped foot into the room not meant for me, he called me dramatic and asked for my evidence, I froze and told him that when I was 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 I needed help in school, explained to him I was always lost, I couldn’t figure out who was lying anymore and I could feel my body want to run, could never find my way to the same answers as my class mates so I learned to stay silent, when I was 15 I was told to put that book down, I was questioned about my understanding standing up head down I could create oceans about how the education system has failed to teach me, I was left behind or laughed at I felt helpless for myself, my home was a wreck I quickly learned to keep her safe and this is when I first met my masked self, I took a deep breath and said nothing, I watched him talk about me as though I didn’t just spill myself into his hands as he wrote his notes into the computer I remember thinking this is why I don’t talk to you people about it, I left that empathy and cried about doing something good for my home only to cry about how my health was mishandled, checking my body to see if she is okay she was not so we cried together until it stopped, then we promised our home to not give up our mind. She deserves her peace, too, even after all this time.

Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

My name is Fatma, but you can call me Guye. | 24.02.2024

I hear you loud and clear, you watching the tree’s talk to each other and blame it on the wind, its fine this way you think standing feet rooted to the door step of your home you take a deep breath, —knock knock.— Come in, and kindly leave your shoes by the door in this household we like to feel again, come in, respectfully gage my attention I have been known to follow my heart the days talk, come in, and let’s talk about why gardens are metaphors for ours this one is for bodies that feel their souls as they succeed themselves, —come in, leave your mask in that fish tank you won’t be needing her here. This home has been known to challenge what you think you already understand.—

It’s not Spring yet, so I’m having to find a reason for the lilac roses and rays of tulips from each exchange I received for good behaviour. —Funny is me accepting it thinking is this what it looks like to be among the living.— Come in, she explains your thoughts have been wondering where you have been, you can’t help but feel guilty about not wanting to stay in silence in the pit of it all, they don’t warn you about the living, instead they say come in reminding you to smile at every opportunity this is how you also make it here, I have been taught to navigate a world that does not find my intelligence important instead I hide it away in public, in environments that are flawed with systems that benefit to take. I want to be able to live without people grabbing at my being thinking they are slick with their blood dipped hands pat my back, laugh at me I mean with me, think it must be the food we are eating slowly rotting us from the inside so we forget what nourishment looks like, so our body stays shiny sick.– I have been counting headaches, my body aches from making choices that feel like they are attacking my body, I am attacking my mind, my mind in my heart and my heart on my mind, this is how we see them for who they really are, all of us navigating a world that was not our first home to begin with. —My name is much sweeter when it leaves your mouth, she reminds me.—

Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

Thank you, for your words and your actions. | 8.1.22

Poetry isn’t supposed to be beautiful, its not supposed to be anything. Poetry is that powerful that it holds space for us all, it gives without asking for anything in return, poetry give us meaning, it gives us connection, it keeps on learning to keep us informed about love. Poetry is many things, poetry has a galactic way about its form it not in our near speech, we are at peotrys mercy, poetry admires us because we bring poetry to life, poetry teaches us about balance, poetry gives us the tools and shows us our courage to use our tools to take our steps, poetry is not saying they are right, poetry is only half the journey your form is also your teacher. When we become poetry we are unlearning, when we become our form we are learning, we are never without each others guidance, we need poetry and poetry needs our form. —They don’t warn you about the magic or words separate from actions and actions separate from words, they only learn you what they mean together. The impact of words is the knowledge and the power, the impact of actions in the wisdom and the courage. We have always lived alongside both but never taught about their separate impact, one impact is always told to be more dominant to the other and this is wrong; Be mindful and be kind. The skills you learn in this lifetime will show who you are in the present, and who you’re claiming to become in future. Practice this kindness, thank poetry and form later if you must.—

Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

To the greatness of us all. | 5.1.22

To the nights where my mind is filled with more ache than thoughts, I tell her I will hold her for however many times she needs she is needed here our home together just like this and much more, I comfort her with my dreams we watch the two sun’s rise to remind us we have always also been the sun’s in our lifetimes, we sit in silence listening to the air make soft music creating notes into our home that soothe us here in this dream life, — when I wake find my mind in her solitude I am reminded of our bodies freedom, how each pulsed thought shares some of its truth here before it leaves our home, our air has always been fire proof we have been working with the new gifts for the purpose of moments of pure clarity on what to do with the idea that you have to be at your most welcomed self belief in love with you and I hope you find what time is to you about this memory. — affirm that you can, you will and you can, give yourself grace, you have to be willfully mindful of these paths they are made to cross create a life worthy of your help on a continuum, the choice is always yours for the seizing.

Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

Prosper. (Gods speed) | 5.1.22

So I’m sitting here juice mixed thinking about the currency in which we possess to thrive our lives, and I can’t help but feel as though my polymer needs to learn to work for me to the speed of my heart, my passion for a home has alway been my way of life, it has kept me safe in thinking the keep for independence and wellness will keep me alive long enough to see my inner peace. Like could you imagine what it would be like, —to wake to a dream that has been manifested to be built upon your own, I mean have you heard about how the stars are lights in the sky, have you seen the moon drop down to your eye level and you stare at each others light thinking I knew one day that this day would come I would be here and we would talk in light.— I can’t sleep, the insomniac in me is ragging with so much phenomena I can not contain her dragon breath no longer, —she is back with all her valour she thinks to have found a way to our dreams some more, thinks she can feel it in our eyes, see it in our heart and bend it in our mind;— she has woken from her sleep, and is ready to take on yet another the same way she skips to step to the beat of her own strum; We haven’t seen flowers lately nor rainbows for that matter, the best we have done is —be the rain our element has never been shy about her passing to the next future—, we crave this chance the same way the rain begs at our feet. Keep safe, na tuta onanana as we set mission intention in more —Prosperity.

Entry #17 Covid has me unemployed after being employed and Im trying to get myself yet through another chance and restoring my livelihood when it is being threatened. How are you all doing?

So I just lost my full time job because I put in my resignation for my current full time job due to covid my timing could not have been anything but perfect, can you hear the sarcasm in my typing. I had a long drive from work today thinking about how life makes it possible to have so many fall backs and lessons with your own mental therapy about an outcome you so deliberately planned for, thinking about how this sounds so familiar back in 2019 dragged until 2020 and not until that year toward the middle I finally found ripe security in something I had wanted for myself so bad, I had worked so hard I deserved this chance. I was driving home from work today after what felt like a long shift thinking I worked so hard to get back to right where I began and for the first time in my life of downfalls I could not cry about it. My mentality lead me to lead us out of this mess the only way I grew to know how and that was with my strength to never give up on myself. I told me myself “I will never give up on who I am becoming and never give up on myself now. I have been hurt and down this rabbit hole of despair I will not fall for its old tricks again or at all I am better than this, I know I can get myself out of anything if I really wanted to so here I am getting myself out of yet another attempt and my livelihood.”

This is to us, those who once had a job and are now struggling with how the pandemic has handled our livelihoods. This is to us, we will make it out of this too I strongly believe in myself and I strongly believe in us, we have got this no matter how you look at this we have got this, no matter how it feels we have got this, there is always opportunity wherever you look, keep going this is no time to stop. Take some time to ease your body, soul and spirt about this, and as you’re calming down, adapt get yourself back to where you belong and that is being the best version of yourself for who you’re becoming to be.

Fatma.

Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

“Must be nice” said fire. | 19.8.21

It must be nice, to sit and think in silence I wonder what that could feel like, I wonder if it feels like a realisation or a thought. Sometimes I like to sit in silence with my thoughts and wonder if this is what it feels like to wonder and realise in silence; then I say out loud, how could it be this, how can we measure silence without bias we can’t understand its body let alone find it however we know its worth we have seen its values and we are wanting it for us too, –so soft, I think it must be like watching fire dance alongside its smoke, it must be something about its solitude in its own silence measured by an instinctive nature I wonder what that could feel like, I wonder how our thoughts come to us in a dream time and we sit in silence wonder at its values and measure it along side our solitude, I think our solitude is like a fire and we are the smoke that builds to rise and fall as we breath to allow instinctive nature. –Play with me.

Fire in the Rain. By Fatma Hussein 2021

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Timeless inner peace.| 15.6.21

—Write a poem about (meaning) inner peace, you know a safe keep heart, beautiful mind you know a love note. Here’s to writing a prayer meant to last life times.—

This is for those who look into mirrors and see for themselves who they be, this for the cloud 9’s water infused fire ambitious with time for comfort for those who know about the Moons secrets and it’s healing in it’s silent silver light we be the untamed life forms that gleam the flickering never stops, we are of it’s light just to be called a star in our own life time, have we grasped this feeling today. We are God’s work, we are God’s work done so we radiate all it’s power and then some, who says dreamers of this world do not understand their reality a fool only knows no bounds to power of self, a fool will undeniably show you what happens when you play with oceans, this stream heavenly heavy on consciousness you would have to be asleep to wake at it’s surrendering, our light has matched flames walk into our path and centre of our fire yellow, red and blue dare it be colourless too, only fools could see to touch right?— They say inner peace grants us what we wish; inner peace is a conversation that comforts us to connect with contact with consistency and no lack for judgement fallacies, we can only dare this courage into us first —for those who are yet to step into it’s teaching of blood you must understand the difference between accountability and mission, between love and unconditional love, you must understand for self then for soul it is not enough to not keep going, you must keep going.— Your life, has a purposeful one, only the bravest of hearts, and conscious of minds, will come to understand, your ache for this thrive, your tribe, will find you so its up to you keep, going.—

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

She has fallen, for Present. | 8.2.21

I swear this feeling is here to stay. I swear it is the best way about being human, that we get to experience to share vulnerability, so often we are glanced at by looking glass eyes not enough by sunflowers, we understand the sentiment but we also understand that we have outgrown glass cups. The memory is, that we have lived long enough to know unconditional love enough to have fallen for it’s worth, capable of its respect and caring about it’s safety into our caliber. Our chances now are matched in opportunity, our opportunity is chimed in soft tones of our most lush feelings, we have mastered floating amongst the full moons. — It’s been a while, since I’ve been here. Been thinking, about my reality. — How it’s matched to my dreams now more than ever dreamed, and the fear, of losing sleep has never felt so bliss. — I am bound to my soul first. —She is learning how to walk on her two feet flat against the earth healing, teaching to be present has never looked this dangerously charming.—