Melody of Being Animate:Poetry

It’s over a year old and still makes sense. How do we make sense of love? | note sure just read:2023 (Actually <edited> 22 May 2023) me: oh thats today, great! *adds to time stamp Also me: Oh, not today okay cool.

Chaotic sweet melodic voice that finds its way into dreams in the deep blue black silvering nights, did she ever tell you why she knows the whisper of your heart calling their name will not let you rest until they have heard you speak your mind say love I have come to tell you about a feeling unmatched that have been keeping light awake in the early night, yet — here we are, everytime you close your eyes we see to cross paths you hear the most life has a ways of putting us on pause we do not like the disturbances but we appreciate the visits after us, asking you have you understood the significance of its affairs I want to tell you about a love story so kept it felt itself to share, I talk about love but I do not talk about being loved I wait in silence I am afraid of the times giving and the hearts spent giving out chances like they were wild sunflowers growing in my garden, my home, a safe haven I still think about the moments in memories astounded that this is what you might just be, — isn’t potential a funny word, I could ask when loving became this challenging but I already know the answer to that, speaking to you like this has never been easy I imagine you as we were the clouds, and the blue sky and the stars in the night hidden in the day light awake just a fall asleep with the rise your voice your eyes your hand holding mine feels like an intimate scent familiar, here, that I can never forget no matter how hard I have tried I wonder, when you question love what does that mean, it’s confusing being filled with emotional logic, it’s confusing making sense of words such as love whelmed like they’re so close like you could touch them, —close your eyes, and smell it whisk the air beside you but you know it’s more than that, this does not have an adequate meaning, Love is an ambiguous compassion, it’s not something that can be understood apart from the two individuals involved humorous isn’t it that love can make take on any shape desires, any form but also special, almost heroic, almost, — brilliant.

Melody of Being Animate: Poetry

22.5.23 |Affirming my reality is my superpower.

In my second world, I look however I want, there are no boundaries to my being, and I am living freely. I am living spirited and in lights, I am feeling the waves move through my body I can feel again, –I am allowed to feel again–, I am free here, I am relieved of all the earthy pressures I am in dihurnment to myself and my way of life, I see how we live here nowadays, I do not wish it upon any of you, I see how we scurry, how we drown, the way we perform to cheat the mind to air out the heart unattended because it does not fit the pressures of the world you have created for it’s vitality. You’re responsible for her heart. ‐She bleeds more water and you watch her drown in her own sea, there are fires about these stories, there is nothing left to survive in the second world we choose life over things we canot touch, in this world we do not settle our hearts we release its chains and watch them save the mind, here we encourage our body to understand its cells and make connections with its reality we do not form aliances out of favours we grant them for ourselves because we understand how the laws here work–.

–I am my most freest light here, I do not command anything. I make choices that aline to my greatest garden and I make moves–, I follow my path earnestly, I am ambitious about my soul and she watches our body grow from the experiences we have had the pleasures of becoming, we see clearly, we accept abundantly, we move freely, we are accepting of letting it all go, we do not hesitate our power anymore for those who choice to only see parts they have misunderstood in our body for their own pleasures, –this is not for us to decide–. Our power has a much grander cause of demand in justice and compassion. –I am as calm as tress, I am as calm as the water, I am, ease–.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

She has fallen, for Present. | 8.2.21

I swear this feeling is here to stay. I swear it is the best way about being human, that we get to experience to share vulnerability, so often we are glanced at by looking glass eyes not enough by sunflowers, we understand the sentiment but we also understand that we have outgrown glass cups. The memory is, that we have lived long enough to know unconditional love enough to have fallen for it’s worth, capable of its respect and caring about it’s safety into our caliber. Our chances now are matched in opportunity, our opportunity is chimed in soft tones of our most lush feelings, we have mastered floating amongst the full moons. — It’s been a while, since I’ve been here. Been thinking, about my reality. — How it’s matched to my dreams now more than ever dreamed, and the fear, of losing sleep has never felt so bliss. — I am bound to my soul first. —She is learning how to walk on her two feet flat against the earth healing, teaching to be present has never looked this dangerously charming.—

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

I’m surviving your(self). | 22/9/20

I fear I am losing my touch into my world, being here has made it difficult to reconnect with my whole chosen family, I feel slightly lost light-headed from the sleepless nights of dreaming of my way back home, the places I have found are here but I can not go, I feel trapped inside a space that held a different meaning I am having trouble deciphering its coding, all it’s pent up questions are slowly taking the magic that runs through my blood, how I talk in language that is only familiar to mine is fading, I am falling, I am starting to revisit old memories seeing my younger self she is restless as am I, I am losing my compassion my words they leave my mouth but they are not mine they do not feel like mine, this is not me I am not who you see right now, who you hear speaking, I am writing this note to see who I am again, the past is following me like a ghost, she is attacking my mind and leaving my heart tethered, she is weakening our power creating sinister clouds in our vision I am doing whatever I can to keep us safe before she loses her resolve, come back quick it doesn’t have to be this way, you do not run at the site of change you challenge it’s compromise, we form a bigger greatness, you know about the wait you understand the patience but you can not bare the beating it leaves your body, you have never been good with the scares I know, it’s okay to be afraid of ourselves once in a while, we know for you it can keep you going, your state of mind is something you will always have to bring yourself back from but it will never be who you are, open your vision in the center of your lifes mission, do not only see with your heart when you are a formidable being that sees with pure emotion a most challenging ability to keep safe and untainted from a world swarming with unpleasant corrupt intent of intentions this type of healing keepsake will never hold you back from your own intuition instead learn to keep you safe when coexisting becomes the necessity-. It will not always have to be like this, a promise you bind with your inner belief.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

*sighh*** | 29.6.20

This is not a love story, it belongs to love languages and searching souls, when your smile creases your face and your eyes crescent into a memory we are reminded of so much good into this life, conversations about words, never really world’s apart, when I hold your hand its whispers of my love for you unmatched, yes there are souls who could come close but never this life time enough, even when I pass you’re in memory of my favorite hue’s and how thorned velvet violet roses feel vinved almost bloody tightly grasped this way, I am told human beings are found into themselves and sometimes into how they wish to change, I am told this is not easy and with warmth like this I understand some of how this happened, there’s so many things I wanted to ask about you, but I am always still learning patience and though I do not poses this quality well, I think we are teaching it to each other some how, you’re a domineering presence, bring your world, we share this too passionately, just like this life too this is part of my fuse, I can’t seem to get away from what having exchanged taught me the most, isn’t it a little too ironic that in order to be the best version of yourself you need to break harder than you ever thought possible so you too can also touch your masked fears without doubt and reservation, you’ve shifted an aspect of realities made a necessary mockery of obvious foundations found yourself some place unbelievably green and spring, the way love appears in my mind is in talks of what a home could also look like, this, its as if I am boasting love and I am because like all my serenity’s it begins with me, I die to break over and over I am quickly learning a life that is limited only to external social knowledge of awareness is a life stolen by who you’re making yourself out to be which is to also blow smoke into who you’re making yourself out to be when you’re faced with your most deepest of character.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

Elevate. | 11.6.20

Give it time, you’re not forgotten here, we are just passing through to understand us some more if we do not stop to touch your fingertips we are still learning, our paths will learn to cross over again and again until we have mastered this course of action, we do not get praised for words if we can not understand to feel where we have lost its intention, when we walk blindly towards anything that is simply put fear, our fears have learnt us so well in our garden we have learnt to pick different flowers in the process for different courses of action lead by intuition, I tell myself its okay here too, we needed this, this time to break is important to us too, we can not move and expect expectation when we are moving in accordance to fears, I have let my guard down in time where I thought this was safe, I do not regret its action, I am above that kind if thinking, I follow through, I choose to go ahead with the plan this time I follow my feeling, I trust my body more instead of letting one placement do all the work it is shared, we all have one mission at hand, don’t cloud your memory with further emotions that are made up to leave you stagnant, we are not built this way, we have always taught our body to fight for the good of our nature, we never give up on us this is who we also are, we are capable of anything, there is no needs for extravagance here, we came for it all before we even had a chance to think we knew which is why we are moving from one to another this way, layered as we are we have always known a mighty wave, the water in us keeps our emotions safe, the fire is what makes us fight harder, there has never been two ways about it we have always been whole, lack of belief will do this to a person when intensity of anything hits and throws you out of balance, you’re to always catch your chaos before it learns to control you, strength has always been your strong point tap into your love and worth and you’ll see what I mean by elevated. -A seeker to her golden Snitch.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

You’re. | 11.6.20

Baby break, its okay, I am not afraid of rejection by now this should come as no surprise I have been echoing a home that has learnt off heartbreak we are never feared by a loss of failure only for it open more spaces for our mind a type of courage, our heart to grow more acceptance, we are the spiting image of unconditional love and don’t we know it, that we are as much magic as learning how to build paper planes, skilled boats, you’re the redemption of rebuilding, never fake to live in your truest truth that you have learnt a way of life that is most abnormal to the eyes of some, maybe, only understood by a melody of thought devotion action, when I say soft I mean warrior, when I say fire I mean courage, when I mention fire and water in the same notion I am showing you my truest of passions in secret forms of intentions, truth is a returning softness never lost, sometimes forgotten but never failed to show love dreamers here I am it all, this world is funny, it will try to paint you if you do not paint yourself, it comes with so much balance and the roles we choose to play that day become our story to tell, we became protagonists that ignite charisma with ease, learning we are more than ours can shake us to our core if we are not wise about its strength, we are so many other things put together which is why sometimes when I talk like this you may get confused, you may feel lost in words that only feel like you could touch, this may not sound real to you, but I am constantly affirmed, I am told that this is who I am too, I am the mystic of masks, I write what we are too afraid or cautious to understand, to wear that day or have always worn to conceal the truth, what we are burning to hear and see, I am writing worlds that are forming on their own accord, worlds that have been born out of intention, psyche that follows my voice, melody of actions followed by words or words followed by action but always the truth, constantly shifting to sync, being lost can feel safe sometimes, it can feel found, but being found feels even safer then pretending yourself to be found in worlds that are written by me. -You can wake up now.

Poetry: Melody of Being Animate

12/07/15, 5/01/15
M.B.A: This is a letter to the future

Dear Future,

Don’t let me down, my kin are going to be living for the change that is yet to come, lets just pray together, you’d think living in this life would have been far better than being enslaved, but in this reality its practically enslavment to silence, holding fear too close, no voice to reach real help, my brothers and sisters left for dead in America, their poems becoming a calling for anyone willing to listen, how dejecting, even in this era being black is still a problem, being treated like beats that roam around too freely, dear future, promise me that we’ll be safe, thick skin is starting to sound like the definition of melanin, I need you to promise me that just becuase its been too many years to count that you still haven’t givin up, dear future, please have thick skin too, I know its tiering to hope when there aight much hope left in humanity, but please do what you can, praying for another black boy, another black body, to be safe n not be left on the pavment is that too much to as for, their lives meaning nothing to this world, a mourning that we’ve been singing for as long as melanin has been spilling its blood, dear future, we’re tierd too, but I hope that you grow our think skin, so that even when kin is still being violated, assolted, murded, killed, draging their black bodies statining evdidence to show the world their sins, pray with us future, because we arn’t done, we still have so much to engrave, so much black history correction is left to do, dear our people, future says don’t give up, I will always give you more time, I know its hard, but I will always give you more time

My year 9 teacher waved at me once, I never waved back, I just watched her car drive away

Entry 2#

When I was in year 9 I was always tied down to my friends at school and my bedroom.

There was an incident that can never leave my memory. I always remember it so clearly when ever I tell others about this story, and each time my enthusiastic exclaiming is always exactly the same; Because as a child who was still learning not only about herself, how to deal with difficult situations and no confidence to boot, was tough.

This wasn’t the first time.

These two teachers were notorious for always shattering and shaming me whether it be in the classroom for everyone to hear or for my eyes and ears only.

I was siting at a corner with three of my friends with books that we had been asked to pick out of the sticker colour coated boxes.

I started reading the book I chose for the second time and the first few pages didn’t interest me at all, so I asked my friend what book she was reading and if I could read a few pages of it because I was thinking of getting another book anyway.

Turns out I passed the first chapter and I was hooked! So I made my way to swap my book for a more interesting read.

The teachers then called us back to our tables and went around asking each of us what book we had chosen.

It came to my turn and as soon I said which book I had decided on reading, right in front of the class Miss Hamilton had looked at Miss Russel and said

“are you sure she can read that..I don’t think she can” 

Right in front of everyone, then they both looked at me looked back and mind you I could hear every word they were saying and so could the whole class.

It was right at that moment that I had stopped reading all together. I remember feeling so embarrassed and dejected I didn’t even know what to do, I literally just wanted to run to the bathrooms and cry.

Since that day I have only read one book, and is in the stimulating process of reading another.

It’s a healing process.

Tima OUT.